Thinking of Him
by Miss. Miyazawa
Summary: The relationship they now own is cold and uncertain, with no sign of rekindling love in sight. Mai ponders the reason why. A Mai x Seto story, but not quite...
1. Loneliness

Hey, everyone! I present to you the second YGO fic I've... posted. My first was called Crimson Candles, written under the pseudonym Ramen Girl (which I'm sure no one remembers). Y'know, this brings back memories. YGO was the first fandom I started with. (Although I'd have to say, my escapades were less-than-talented. I'm not even so sure that three years has made a difference, but whatever.) I guess the only thing I can say is, read and enjoy (hopefully). Here's keeping my fingers crossed and my disclaimer...

**Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!**

_Thinking of Him_

by Princess Miyazawa

**_O.O.O.O.O_**

There was something good to be said about being in a relationship with a powerful, extremely rich mogul.

Mai Kujaku couldn't find anything to say.

But that was a perfectly-placed lie, as impeccable as the woman's fresh manicure. _Or maybe not_, she sighed inwardly with a smirk as she witnessed a tiny crescent-shaped chip marring the white arc tipping one long nail. The blonde selected a bottle of nail polish--Wedding White, the bottle boasted-- and some nail polish remover and cotton balls. She'd have to do her handiwork all over again.

The woman turned cat-like violet eyes to the program blaring from the plasma screen. She'd muted the show, which was a news brief. Mai surmised she wouldn't be able to see him today. Sometimes she would see him being hounded by some over-eager journalist or reporter in an interview, but that wasn't often. Kaiba wasn't one to slide willingly into the limelight, and even when he was dragged unceremoniously in, an icy glare and a harsh word held most busybodies at bay.

At the moment, Kaiba had left his girlfriend for some business trip to wherever--Mai wasn't in tune with his occupational dealings. In fact, she wasn't connected with him at all. When she woke up, went through her beauty regimen, and glided into the kitchen, the customary note was adhered to the fridge. Just reminders, common sense that he must've not expected her to remember, even though he wrote the commands every day. Lock the door when you go out, don't leave the lights on too long, clean up the blonde strands in the sink that Mai would leave on purpose, in the hopes that he'd berate her, give her a stern word, something.

But Mai was tired of waiting for something. She was tired of being locked up in this penthouse like a cat. Yes, she could go wherever she wanted; being in a relationship certainly did not change things. She was independent, she had rights, and she could do whatever she wanted. But she was feeling... something she couldn't place.

There was a genuine lack of something in this relationship.

There used to be a time when they loved each other and showed it often, but the happy memories were misty in her mind. It was as if those times hadn't even existed, as if she'd daydreamed the kisses, the hesitant smiles, sprinting with laughter flowing from their stomachs from the paparazzi.

They once had a fiery something. Now they had something cold.

With a sigh, she unscrewed the thin cap of a different shade--First Love--and began working on her toes. Maybe Mai would call him, maybe she wouldn't. All she knew was that she was tired of hearing his voice through the T.V., through a cell phone, anywhere but real life. She could call him and demand that he buy her something, some sort of souvenir.

Where had her fire gone? Where had her bossiness and strength fled off to? Were those traits off on a business trip? Would they fly back to her? Would they remember the witty blonde who stood tall and never just withstood any hardship, but took control of it?

She hated her weakness as she greedily snatched up the phone and punched in the numbers for his cell.

But she needed to confirm the fact that she existed, to both him and herself.

She was thinking of him and wanted the confirmation that he was thinking of her too.


	2. Painful Decision

Wow...This is chapter two. I really wasn't going to continue this, but at the behest of Makai-Rahl and with the lovely encouragement of FFNRocks, I was able to find the impetus to continue. There's nothing I really have to say at this point but thank you very much, reviewers! And anyone who's reading/had read this fic, thank you. I'm just glad people are reading. Okay, before I turn into a puddle of mushiness, here's the disclaimer.

_O.O.O.O.O.O._

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

_O.O.O.O.O.O._

A simple gesture held the genuine intent of a thousand.

One look and she was revealed.

_Mai didn't move, didn't speak, didn't even look at him, but he knew--_

_A brush of warm fingers on her knee. Short nails made contact with her skin._

_She looked up, ear leaning toward her left shoulder. His right one reflected the image of hers, but his was more wide, a proud shoulder that expressed his confidence and masculinity._

_With an expression kin to almost-embarrassment, he looked at her, then quickly away._

_"You looked uncomfortable, so..."_

_The blonde smiled, conveying in the silence that there was no need for more to be said. The itch was gone and so were her worries._

_Letting monotonous conversation wash over them, they endured the company dinner, hands clasped beneath the table._

O.0.0.0.O.0.0.0.O

Transparent?

Yes, Mai did suppose she was a bit transparent. But gullible? Too trusting? Too naive? No way. Yugi was too trusting and especially naive. Jounouchi was all three of these characteristics, especially gullible. The overeager shaggy-headed duelist was a volcano of wise-ass comments, all concealing a tender and unsuspectingly fragile heart.

The only reason she was mulling over personalities was because lately, that short-tempered, arrogant asshole Seto Kaiba was taking moments out of his precious schedule to sneer at her from the curve of his nose about her faults.

First, the insult was insidious. "Would you mind not leaving your cup in the sink?" Kaiba had sneered two days ago, holding up the crystal champagne flute disdainfully out to her. "You have two hands."

The bewildered woman had regained a bit of her spirit with that one thoughtless comment. She even remembered her stance: standing before him, fists clenched, legs rooted firmly to the freshly polished floor in an upside-down V, pale and shaking. She had caught a glance at herself in the newly-waxed tiled floor of the sprawling kitchen. Mai had to admit, she felt a bitter satisfaction in seeing herself this way. She was herself again.

Since they had hired help, the comment did anger her. But that was so small in comparison to the fact that he was speaking derisively to her.

But before she could respond (and she had a very fiery retort for his royal highness), he stalked out of the room without a glance or another word, muttering, "Slovenly." under his breath to himself as he left.

That had been the first face-to-face confrontation they'd had in two months.

She had hated the way her voice had coiled up inside her like a frightened animal when he spoke. And now, he was blatantly condemning her like a parent toward a disobedient child, dragging her retorts deeper into her voice box. It was the same formula with him, but it worked on her everytime: a dismissive flick of his wrist, a sneer flowing from his eyes, and then that exit. It was** always** him walking out on her.

Mai couldn't pin-point the exact moment when things went wrong: when the sweet nothings just turned into nothing, when Kaiba would leave without kissing her good-bye, when those notes--the damn notes--appeared on the fridge. The fridge had become their message board, their only form of communication. The woman had gone just about crazy talking to a kitchen appliance, so she wrote _Go fuck yourself_ on a neon-pink Post-it and slammed it decisively on top of his reminder for her to lock the door before going out since their housekeeper was on vacation. Despite that bold statement, Kaiba hadn't responded.

All she knew was that one day, Kaiba just changed. The old Mai had flagrantly demanded an explanation. She had kicked things over, yelled, screamed, even cried, she was ashamed to admit. The powerful, no-nonsense Mai never cried, until he came and made her love him. But did she get a reaction out of him? No. She got nothing. Absolutely nothing.

After a while, her legs became sore with the effort, her toes complained achingly from the frequent violent contacts with hard surfaces, her eyes stung from crying, and her throat buzzed with the virulent expletives she hurled at him. Generally, Mai just got tired, damn tired, and settled into this new life. Soon, it was as if things had always been this way.

Had she thought about leaving him? Yes, she had considered the option many times. Many times, when the cold air surrounded her from the side of the bed where he was supposed to be. There were a million reasons that streamed through her head for his abrupt silence and his decided absence from her life, but one explanation stuck out at her: he was tired of her. Nevertheless, she was certain of his fidelity. There were no strange women calling him at all hours of the night, there were no streaks of lipstick on the collars of his shirts. He didn't smell like a heavy cloud of some other woman's sweet perfume or sport proud purpling bruises on his neck. Other than them not communicating, there were no tell-tale signs of an affair. Mai supposed however that if the intelligent CEO was keeping a mistress, he'd be very certain to be discreet with his actions, but that didn't really matter. He was smart, but she was just as intelligent, a fact she was certain he was aware of. The only thing Kaiba was getting busy with was work.

Mai supposed--no, knew--that she could leave whenever she wanted. Like a cat that just wanders out of a slightly ajar door, Mai could just walk away. She could leave a note on the fridge telling him she wouldn't be back. Or not. Kaiba probably wouldn't even notice she was gone. Or if he did notice, she was sure he wouldn't care. In that case, perhaps she should leave. He had little respect for her anyway. He treated her like a pretty vase resting on a table, as if she wasn't human. Kaiba just wouldn't change, and their love had died long ago. There was nothing to hold onto except...

The past.

The past was keeping her tied to his uncaring side.

The way things used to be.

Sweet and caring, loving and gentle.

A hand perched on her knee.

Fingers casually placed on the small of her back.

The gentle brush of crimson lips she'd greet his ear with.

Those memories danced in a taunting ring around her, boasting, "You'll never get away. You'll stay and get hurt, over and over and over..."

But Mai's strength had returned. Not a huge quantity of it, but enough.

Enough to tell her heart what she had to do.

She had to leave him.

She had to leave him, but first she was going to make him talk. She'd make him look her in the eyes and explain why things had changed.

It was the loss of love that made her have to come to this painful decision.

To cut the ropes that were imprisoning her here, in this lonesome, empty house, with nothing but memories of him.

After all, a person cannot be happy only with memories. Memories were nice to look back on, but Mai had no desire to live in the past. Even when diving into the old days, she found not solace, but a painful sweetness that was slowly destroying her.

It was the times when she felt like this that made her truly despise him.

He gave her something so wonderful, and in the same instant took it away.


	3. Movin' On

_Everyone, I'm sorry for being such a bad authoress! The haze of spring fever and summer haze descended upon me and I got super lazy. However, Mai's and Kaiba's stories need to be told! Just one question before I proceed. Should Thinking of Him be solely in Mai's POV or should Kaiba's side of the story be told as well? In this case, I think the readers know best._

_A/N: The title of this chapter is a song by J-pop singer May J. I kept listening to that song over and over while writing this chapter. It's Mai's theme song!  
_

_XxXxXxXxX _

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

_XxXxXxXxX _

Nothing was going her way.

Nothing at all.

Not even sleep.

Mai squeezed her long-lashed eyes shut tighter in hopes of finding unconsciousness. Such attempts were as vain as she once was.

But not even Kaiba's influence could squelch her stubbornness, so she defiantly tried to win the battle against her body.

_I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired_, she told herself.

No such luck.

Impatiently, the fair-skinned woman sat up. Crisp linen sheets pooled over her bare thighs. Mai yanked the white material from her body and absent-mindedly placed her hands to her purple silk negligee-clad abdomen. She felt a tiny movement, but wasn't sure if the lurch could be attributed to hunger. She didn't feel hungry, but then again, Mai wasn't sure of what she was feeling anymore.

Feeling as lost and vulnerable as a drowning newborn kitten, Mai's exotic eyes frantically darted about the room she shared with him. The first thing her pupils brought into focus was the vanity table he had bought for her a long time ago. She smiled faintly at his response to her ecstatic reaction to the gift: a slight brush of color on his face, his eyes steadily focused on her. One would assume his gaze was stoically intense if one did not know him. But only she knew the underlying affection that swirled in his eyes...

Mai's irises reflected the pain in her heart before she shook her head as if to scramble the memory. She was doing what she swore she wouldn't do: she was living in the past again. Nearly straining her eyes with the effort, Mai focused with laser-hot intensity on the pallid glass image of herself.

Stringy, dull blonde hair.

Tired violet eyes framed with red veins.

The defeated slope in her shoulders of a woman who'd surrendered her vibrancy to the harshness of life.

This was her reality.

_I just want to go to fucking sleep_, she thought to herself helplessly as she fell back on the duvet that was about to fall off of the bed. She bent a slim arm at the elbow and splashed it over her roasting brow. It was probably the intense heat and not a malfunction in her health. She told herself she didn't feel sick, but perhaps that was a lie.

Actually, Mai knew it was a lie. Perhaps not physically, but emotionally Mai felt just about ready to hurl.

"Today," she muttered in a sizzling voice. "Today..."

With a groan, Mai sprang back up and swung her long legs elegantly over the edge of the bed. She staggered to her feet. Her pearl-white toenails glimmered in the new morning sun as she made her way to the adjourning bathroom.

When she emerged, her face was clean and her teeth were brushed, but she shuffled to the door without even thinking of brushing her tangled hair or applying color to her pale lips. She was too nervous to think much about anything. All sound and even her surroundings weren't even duly noted.

Until she walked into the living room.

Loud voices.

Men walking in and out of the penthouse.

Cardboard boxes forming castles on the waxed marble floor.

And in the middle of all this chaos, overseeing the productivity of the men like an arrogant king, was Seto Kaiba the asshole.

Finally, his royal highness's eyes deigned to descend frostily upon his girlfriend. His eyes worked down from her tousled hair to her barely-covered lace-edged breasts, to her hips and slid slowly down slim legs to her feet. A frown made the corners of his lips reach for his chin.

Crossing his arms, he said flatly, "Get dressed."

Mai's eyes grazed her surroundings once more. A few men met her eyes and grinned, admiring the beauty of their employer's girlfriend. Mai's eyes worked their way back to Kaiba. "What's going on here?" she asked coolly, raising a perfectly waxed eyebrow.

He closed his eyes with a humorless laugh that sounded more like a cruel bark. "I thought you were smart, Mai." She could finally see his eyes again, but the sight of those arctic blue irises did nothing to calm her. "As you can see, we're moving. Now run along and get dressed. In the... state you're in, you've become quite an embarrassment."

Mai's voice surged to a high pitch that was an almost-yell. "**Embarrassment**? "I never knew the all-powerful Seto Kaiba could get embarrassed over anything. And in any case, you're directing your anger at the wrong person."

After taking a couple of purposeful strides towards her, he stopped to place strong hands on her shoulders. But far from being comforting, the gesture cruelly dragged the young woman into his possession. Mai shivered beneath his fingers, loathing him with all of her heart and hoping that only this sentiment was getting through to him. Not her indecisiveness, not her nervousness, not even her fear, but this raw emotion that filled her with a vindictive sort of strength. As small as this strength was, Mai held onto the emotion and willed it to swell into an ocean.

"You're sorely mistaken, Kujaku," Kaiba hissed, squeezing his fingers into her shoulders.

"I bet you're embarrassed because you realize for the first time that you're head's up your ass and everyone knows it!" she shrieked wildly.

By this time, a few of the moving men had stopped carrying boxes down to the truck and wore looks of consternation on their faces. One of them addressed Kaiba, but Mai didn't hear anything except the rush of blood in her ears.

"Do you want to repeat that a little louder?"

"Or what? You'll hit me? I dare you, Kaiba. Hit me." By this time, Mai was completely hysterical, a fact that shone in her shaking voice. Her body quaked with anger as her delicate butterfly wing hands hardened into fists. With wide eyes, she taunted, "Come on. Hit me. Hit me. I'm sure you want to hit me so bad, though I'm not sure why. You know what you are, Kaiba? A **fucking** coward. You can't even tell me why you won't talk to me! Just tell me you don't love me! I'm a big girl. I can fucking handle it."

With a growl, Kaiba tore his hands from her shoulders to angrily stalk to the window. Mai blew an exasperated sigh from her lips.

"Are you going to deal with me or are you going to look out the window?"

Kaiba finally turned around. "You're not a little kid, even though you're acting like one," he ground out between tightly clenched teeth.

Hands on her hips, Mai challenged, "Then why are you with me?"

With a groan, Kaiba strode into the kitchen.

But Mai was adamant. Her bare feet padded against the smooth coolness of the floor. Small hollow footsteps like the sound of a kitten's paws softly trailed after him. "Why do you even bother being with me? You think I don't know how you feel? You hate me, admit it! You can't stand me, but you don't want to break up with me for whatever reason. Yet you're miserable, or you're waiting for me to make the first move. How stupid can you be? Why can't you just be honest with me, you sonofabi--?"

"**THAT'S ENOUGH!!!**"

Mai involuntarily recoiled at the harsh snap of his elevated voice as if he had punched her. With furrowed brows and a grimace on his face, he whirled around to tower over her.

"How stupid can **you** be?" Kaiba hissed. "You're yelling at me like it's my fault you're such a dumbass. You don't like being with me? Fine. But don't expect me to solve your problems for you. This is how I am, Kujaku. Deal with it."

Mai quivered with more sadness and frustration than anger. To her mortification, the whites of her eyes had turned opalescent with the appearance of tears. Unrestrained, they flew down her cheeks like badges of defeat.

"A little boy," Mai whispered in faint horror. "You really are just a little boy. This is all **my** fault? What about you, Kaiba? You're the one who started all this bullshit, not me. And don't give me that shit about how you're always like this."

Frustrated, Kaiba whipped his head over his shoulder. He snapped at the audience pooling around the entrance of the kitchen that this wasn't a free show. Intimidated, the men resumed their work. Soon, he faced the upset Mai again.

"Well, thanks for clearing things up for me." She hiccuped before continuing with, "I guess... I understand... exactly what I mean to you, which is fucking nothing." Mai was surprised that she could keep some sort of balance in her emotion-ravaged voice, but didn't deem this the time to applaud her accomplishment. Despite the levelness in her tone, she couldn't accomplish the same with her chin. Mai kept her eyes on the floor. "Maybe I never meant **anything** to you."

A tiny shard. Only one shard of the hard shell of anger he'd coated himself in fell when he spoke. "Mai..."

But she didn't notice. She couldn't notice. Not when her own emotions were crashing into her so intensely. "I don't know anything because you're not telling me anything. Not why we're moving, or why you started ignoring me, why you stopped... saying you love me. Why can't you just tell me the truth? Why did you change...?"

"I didn't change."

"You didn't change, huh. Well, I did."

Wide dull purple eyes finally turned to his.

"I've changed, starting right now."

One last tear crumpled down her face. She yanked the corners of her mouth into a wide, faint pink smile.

"I'm moving as well, but not with you. Someplace far, far away from you because I just can't take it anymore."

Mai walked past him, moving her shoulder away in a graceful arc so her skin wouldn't make contact with him. Likewise, Kaiba's shoulder rolled in toward his frame.

Mai bit her lower lip so hard, she could taste blood. He didn't reach out his hand to stop her, he didn't apologize. He did nothing.

She thought she was used to nothing, but Kaiba could hurt her in deeper ways than she ever knew. Mai understood that now.

But this hurt wouldn't disable her from walking away. Instead of accepting the cards she was dealt, she would walk away from him. Mai wasn't weak anymore. She was strong.

If only she could tell her quaking body the same.

But before she could toss her belongings into suitcases and bags, she turned around and offered one last message to him.

"Have a nice life, you fucking douche."


	4. Audacity Part I

_I'm getting just a tiny bit better at updating... right? Right?! (Why is no one agreeing with me?) _

_This fic won't be too long, perhaps no more than 10 chapters, so updating might be less... challenging? I don't know._

_This chapter continues in Mai's POV (mostly because I haven't gotten much on Seto yet), but expect to see more Kaiba later on._

_x x x x x x x x x x_

_Disclaimer: I don't own YGO. _

_x x x x x x x x x x_

The sun was rising and dripping honeysuckle light over everything in a way that made Mai squint. She bridged a hand over her brow in order to give herself better sight, then, her arm becoming sore with the effort, she let it swing at her hip. Even if her retinas were scorched, it would be better than going back into that ice castle and retrieving her Gucci sunglasses. Kaiba could have them. Maybe he'd pawn them off to some sick Mai Kujaku fanatic or on the Internet. Mai didn't care what he did with his life anymore.

Of course, a great deal of the things in that penthouse belonged to her, but she didn't want her shit back. It pained her to admit it, but the majority of her belongings had been purchased with Kaiba's money. The deep reliance she had had on the uncaring man was enough to make her want to throw up, to such a degree that she felt sick at even the thought of bringing _any_ of his gifts to her. Also, many of her things had been packed away, so she didn't want those things back. They were tainted by association: being packed up with Kaiba's computer was like a death sentence for her stereo. And Mai supposed she could do without, opting for only one huge suitcase jam-packed with a few items from her summer wardrobe plus undergarments, her toiletries, her purse and naturally her makeup kit. It was all for the best, she reasoned. The less reminders she had of her old life, the better. It was like a fresh start, with her as a stronger woman.

But unfortunately none of the stupid pedestrians seemed to understand that, as shown by the way they gaped at her. Some were less silent and were either perverted or just plain stupid.

There were three things Mai was equipped with for the busybodies who immediately identified her as the all-mighty Kaiba's woman and, even worse, _deigned_ to come up to her for impromptu interrogations:

A heavy suitcase with wheels perfect for flattening toes as well as nosy people's questions right on their tongues.

An uncaring attitude, as if no one and nothing existed. (Mai was a champion at giving others the cold shoulder, perhaps even so much as to give Kaiba a run for his money. That was a laugh, giving him a run for his money. Money was perhaps the only thing the arrogant jerk cared about.)

And a hissed "Fuck off" if neither method worked.

But ignoring people was a little hard, especially with her appearance. Mai Kujaku was not only Kaiba's woman (or ex-woman, if she were to tell the general public and even perhaps undercover tabloid journalists--she'd caught a few familiar faces lurking in the bushes) but a once successful duelist. When the woman had given up the game for good, everyone from men who fantasied about her to hopeful young girls who'd looked up to her had asked her, "Why?"

_Why? _she asked herself with a wry smile. _Because I'm an idiot, that's why._

But the Mai of one year ago hadn't said that. She couldn't believe that. Idiot was the farthest word from her vocabulary back then. The reason Mai had given for her early retirement was--

_"Because I'm in love, and that's all I need." _

"_He's_ all I need," she whispered, eyes filling with tears. With a growl, she ground a fist into one eye, then the other. This was not part of the plan. She was supposed to be strong, not weak. But the thoughts of how she used to be danced around her.

Caring--

Smiling--

Happy.

Happy. When was the last time Mai had been so happy, she felt as if her heart would burst? She could almost remember, but the memory slipped from her grip tauntingly.

How she missed those days, those happy days...

_I was only happy_, Mai thought resolutely as she navigated her rolling suitcase over a speed bump in the asphalt,_ because I didn't know any better. Because I let my guard down. Because I was hopelessly, foolishly in love and nobody could tell me any different._

But the blonde vowed never to be that way ever again, even if she had to live a life of grim loneliness and suspicion. Even if she never tasted the sweetness of a smile or danced in the street for no reason or even kissed another man's lips. She was sure she wouldn't miss it. She hadn't before when all she relied on was herself and she had done just fine. There was no reason why she couldn't be that way again. And anyway, being independent and cold was much, much better than being vulnerably in love. Because women in love were foolish. Women in love believed in only the love they had for their significant other and the love they gave back in turn. Women in love had stars in their eyes and their fingers twirled around locks of hair, giggling and looking up at the ceiling, thinking that they were invincible. Women in love thought that love was the all-mighty talisman against any hardship. Women in love worshiped at one church, the church of Delirium, and although none of their prayers were answered, they kept coming back again and again, over and over in a cruel, vicious cycle.

Women in love were stupid.

Dangerous.

Ridiculous.

And they always, always, _always _ended up with nothing, yet stayed for old, dusty memories that meant nothing in the here-and-now.

_We used to be so happy..._

But Mai pushed the sentence down. Never again would she think about how good things used to be. What mattered now was how shitty things had gotten and that Mai had gotten herself out of it before she wasted her whole life on nothing.

Silence, nothingness... They couldn't do a thing for her.

And love couldn't do a _damn_ thing for her now.

Because even if she loved him, love couldn't give her a place to live.

Mai stopped in the middle of the street, eyes wide as if in a daze.

_That's right_, she thought hazily as she looked around as if seeing things for the first time. _I __**don't**__ have a place to live._

She looked down once a violent wind started and gave her a reason to blush.

_And I'm not wearing anything modest._

Truth be told, Mai could not be known to have owned anything that was even remotely modest, but this negligee was way more daring than her other sleepwear. Ignoring the snickers and lascivious stares, Mai pulled the fabric down over her hips. The huge slits up the sides made her feel even more self-conscious.

"That's right," she said with bitterness. "Oh, Mai, what a genius you are. Storming out like that without getting dressed. I can only imagine how I'll look on page seven. A huge view of me with my ass hanging out. Maybe I'll even earn two pages." The woman looked around, thinking of how much more tarnished Kaiba's reputation would be. After all, his woman was out and about in a dress that would make a hooker look like a nun--

_So be it! _she thought with a humorless laugh as she resumed her confident stride. _Soon the rest of the world will find out I'm not his. Who gives a shit what anyone thinks anymore? Embarrassment indeed. I'll show __**you**__ an embarrassment, Seto Kaiba! Come to think of it... Hadn't he tried to warn me?_ Mai mistily remembered Kaiba almost yelling something about her attire after she screamed at him from the pavement. The fight had gone on too quickly for her to be sure however. Mai couldn't really remember anything but her own red anger.

_He probably wanted me to go upstairs like a good girl. Or, better yet, to get dressed, then leave him. Fucking prick. I can't __**stand**__ him._

Off in the distance, she located a train station at what couldn't have been a more perfect time. The terminal had to have a bathroom where she could change, maybe fix herself up and even get something to eat while deciding on where she would live. Convincing herself that the change of clothes was due to a chill in the muggy summer morning and most definitely not because of embarrassment, Mai scurried to the large building and walked through the automatic doors.

The rushing coolness of the air-conditioned hall came in a huge breath upon her entrance. Mai sighed in relief, happy to be out of the hot sun as she quickly made her way past a Dunkin' Donuts and a ramen shop to the row of bathrooms to her left. The waxed floor made her stiletto heels echo even louder than usual at a time when Mai wished she were inconspicuous. (A surprising first for her.)

Everything was white, from the shiny tiled floor to the walls, to even the light bulbs overhead as she dashed into a waiting stall. A few young ladies, no older than sixteen Mai had guessed, were stationed around the generous mirror, giggling excitedly and talking about lip gloss. They were all clones of each other, with unnatural platinum blonde hair, deeply roasted skin from tanning beds, wild colored contacts and trendy yet skimpy clothes and platforms. Mai couldn't help thinking that they were every fashionista's horror story and almost said something, but decided against it. And anyway, with the way they'd disdainfully looked at her, she knew these girls considered Mai trashy and themselves to be fashion trailblazers. It was all right for them to have their little fantasy; Mai supposed everyone needed a lie to wholeheartedly believe. And anyway, she had more important things to think about.

With a cool click of the lock, there was nothing preventing Mai from dressing with the utmost privacy. She slid the sexy negligee up over her head and opened the suitcase for a clean pair of underwear and a bra. She had a little trouble getting the damn suitcase open since everything was balled up like cabbage heads in there, but along with undergarments she did find a nice pair of slacks and a dressy shirt to wear. (So she _did_ have something modest after all!) The outfit was a little wrinkled, but she liked the look of the attire: crisp, clean, confident. Womanly and mature, not an outfit that was too trashy. Mai vowed to buy herself a new empowering wardrobe the next chance she got.

_Which reminds me..._ Money. Money was very, very important to Mai right now. As she pulled on the gray slacks, she also went into her suitcase to fetch her black leather purse. Once she wrestled it open, she located her wallet and found her credit card. Since Mai didn't spend too extravagantly, she was sure her finances were okay, but she wanted to make sure. Clamping her mouth around the credit card, she threw the wallet back in with everything else and stuck her card into her pocket.

The woman couldn't help noticing how damn loud the teenagers were, giggling and gossiping. She could hear the splashing of water and peals of laughter as they targeted each other. At the same time she was pissed, Mai felt... jealous. She hadn't been so carefree when she was a child and she certainly wasn't carefree now. _Kids have it so damn good_, Mai thought sadly. _They don't have to worry about a thing except whether Daddy will lend them his credit card and clothes and parties. And then they complain about it. Fucking pricks._

Their conversation held little to no interest for Mai since it didn't even sound like coherent speech.

Until her ear quivered with one name that was all too familiar.

"Hey Chloe, don't you think that guy _Kaiba_ is mega hot?" one girl inquired, dragging her voice annoyingly forward in a high pitch over his name.

"_Kaiba?_ Oh, he's pretty _tasty_," another girl giggled in the same fashion. "Not to mention a _killer_ duelist."

"_Duelist_? Are you _serious_?! _Forget_ about the _dueling_ and think about his_ ass_..."

_His ass, huh. _Mai leaned back against the wall where the toilet was. With a jagged smile, she mused, _Well, can't disagree with ya there, sweetie._ The blonde closed her eyes with a sigh.

"What about his _eyes_?"

"His _hair_?"

"His _**trench coat?!**_" the third girl finished in a super annoying screech.

_Enough of this._ Mai buttoned her crisp linen shirt, folded the long sleeves up to her elbows and walked out with as much dignity and grace as she could muster with a clumsy suitcase and after just hearing the gossip. With shock emblazoned on their faces, the girls whirled around with gaping mouths. Taking no notice of them, Mai calmly approached the sink and placed her hands under it. She pumped liquid pink soap with one hand and rubbed them together in a rich lather.

"Hey, isn't that _**Kaiba's**_ woman?"

With a sigh, Mai straightened up. Still looking in the mirror, she shot back with, "I'm_** nobody's **_woman."

Frightened yet still making a feeble attempt to look tough, the gang of girls glowered at the svelte blonde before making their giggling exit. They gained confidence after their exit, yelling insults once Mai was out of view.

"You can't be _serious_!"

"Yeah, that's seriously _gross_."

"What a _bitch_."

_Whatever_, Mai thought as she splashed some cold water on her face. _I don't give a fuck what anybody says. I'm nobody's woman. Not anymore. I'll never belong to anyone but myself again._

She dried off her face with a wad of paper towels, then examined herself in the glass. The cumbersome suitcase that she'd lugged out with her was pawed through once again. Now that she'd actually taken a close gander at her appearance, Mai grew worried. She looked haggard, tired and pissed all at once. She did not want anyone to see her this way: defeated and helpless. Instead, she would be confident, haughty and, most of all, a tough ass bitch.

Before Mai could decorate her face, she had to spray on her signature scent. Finally she found it: an old-fashioned glass bottle with only a little bit of the amber liquid. She frowned upon seeing that the glass was caved in like a huge crater on the side of the moon. Of course she supposed it wouldn't have fared very well being grouped with clothes and her heavy makeup kit, but the broken bottle saddened her nonetheless. She loved this particular scent the most. It was inviting and warm, with the sharp scent of lemon rind. The addition of the strange fruit made the perfume that much more empowering. Feeling moisture on her fingertips, she placed the bottle on the counter. Mai spread her fingers over her throat and dabbed some on her earlobes just in case people found some need to get a whiff of her ears. (Which was highly likely, considering who she was.)

Next came her hair. After finding a comb, Mai began her assault on the tornado. It took a lot of forceful persuading, but her hair finally gave up the battle and behaved itself. _I think I'll pin my hair up_, Mai decided, coiling the waterfall of shiny gold locks into a loose bun, leaving some strand loose to frame her face. She liked the way she looked with her hair up: professional and classy.

Mai forced herself to smile as she applied a coat of red lipstick on her upper and lower lip. Then came her eyelashes twirled in mascara, then a light powder of lilac eyeshadow, foundation to fix her blotchy skin and finally some blush to cover her pale complexion.

With a sigh, she looked down at the ruined bottle. Ruined, just like everything else in her life. But she had to keep moving forward. There was no time for lament, sorrow or even tears.

The ornate calligraphy of the perfume bottle was horribly crushed except for two letters.

"Audacity," Mai said softly with a dangerous smile as she swept up the ruined perfume bottle in her hand and tossed it into the rubbish bin.

She had plenty of that. Now and always, she would be the reckless woman she used to be.

Full of life, vibrancy and audacity.

_x x x x x x x x_

Mai Kujaku sat at the food court, delicately picking at the inexpensive cranberry scone she'd ordered. To be honest, it tasted like crap, and anyway, Mai didn't have much of an appetite. She blew an annoyed sigh from her lips as she leaned back in her chair.

"Maybe I should leave the country," Mai muttered with a sip from her bottle of flavored water. But before she could expand on the thought, a shadow fell over her.

"When I just got back? That would be pretty rude."

Mai looked up with astonished eyes. When the shock passed, she allowed herself a laugh.

"I can't believe it. Where the _hell_ have you been?"


	5. Audacity Part II

And so went... my first cliff-hanger! Ooh, it feels so good to be evil! So just who was the person who showed up in Mai's life? (And if anyone wants to know, the tanned girls were ganguros. They're tan girls with dyed hair who usually wear body glitter, tons of makeup, trendy clothes and platforms. A-ha, and so goes my cliff-hanger within a cliff-hanger! ...Wait, does that even make sense?) The answer lies in this chapter, so without further delay, here it is!

Well, of course there is the--

* * *

**Disclaimer- I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!**

* * *

"Around," he answered with a teasing grin. 

With a charming smile from ear to ear, Mokuba could give the elder Kaiba a run for his money. (Again, what a laugh.) In all honesty, the kid hadn't changed at all, not in spirit. He was still spunky and good-natured, two traits Mai would've wished Kaiba had possessed if she still cared about him, which she didn't. His friendly gray-blue eyes twinkled with happiness in a strong tanned face. But many things had changed, namely his aura. Pairing the vibes he gave off with his new deeper voice, Mokuba was more manly now, which pulled even more girls' eyes to him. Also, he had gotten his hair cut in a style similar to his brother's. It looked good on him actually, along with the suit he was in. Mai was glad he looked nice, but she couldn't help thinking the kid should just be a kid. _Stupid brother_, she thought.

"Around?" With a smirk, Mai crossed her legs. "That's not a good response."

"You asked me, ah, what were your exact words...? 'Where the hell have you been?' And I answered your question."

"I know where you've been. Back from a business trip I see. How was that?"

"Well..." Suddenly, Mokuba became very shy, looking at the marble floor with a blushing face. He was no longer smiling; in fact he looked sad and grave all at once. Mai wondered what was wrong. "A problem--well, several problems cropped up, but I took care of things," he responded quietly.

_Woah. I guess I should change the subject._ With a pout, Mai cried, "You cut your hair." and pulled on his ear. "If I listen closely, I can hear the sobs of many fangirls."

Mokuba brightened up right away to Mai's relief. He tilted his head back and laughed. "Yup. It gets so bad when there's all this hair on your neck and it's summer though! Maybe you should cut your hair too, Kujaku-san."

"No way, kiddo. Ah, but don't call me Kujaku-san. Mai is fine."

"Kiddo?! I'm not a kid anymore!" he said in mock annoyance.

"You're fifteen, kiddo. That's hardly an adult."

He peered over her shoulder. "Whatcha eatin'?" he asked.

Mai looked down disdainfully at her barely-touched scone. "Crap. I want to eat something good but--" Then she stopped herself. No way would she involve her ex-boyfriend's brother in this. She wouldn't be the one who told him that she broke up with Kaiba, had stormed out of his penthouse and was now looking for a place to live. It would be too much. Mokuba had been thrilled when his stoic older brother had found someone to love other than himself, his job, Duel Monsters, and his younger brother. He had also supported their relationship when others had some choice words for the couple and he'd even defended them. To tell Mokuba that it was over just like that... _Let his brother deal with it_, she decided even though the decision made her feel just as crappy as her stupid cranberry scone. _He'll probably blame it all on me. That's fine. I really don't care._

But it was more than that. Mai knew that she would have to stop talking to Mokuba soon. Kaiba would undoubtedly object to it and even if Mokuba did want to talk to her after he found out, she knew she'd feel guilty. This could be the last time she ever saw him. She felt a sad smile tug at her lips. He had immediately brought her spirits up, but now yanked them down, although that wasn't entirely his fault. Truth be told, Mai was fond of the precocious kid. He was very bright as well as sweet.

"Hey, why don't we go to a café or something? That scone doesn't look so good; it smells bad too." He scrunched up his nose even though he'd never even tasted it in a way that made her chuckle. "We'll get some breakfast. Oh, I know!" He perked up even more. "I'll call Seto so he can come join us! I'm sure you miss him a lot and I miss him too!"

"Wait!" Mai cried when he reached for his cell phone. Alarmed at her alarmed expression, Mai let her hand drop. "I mean your brother's probably busy with work and we shouldn't--I mean I shouldn't bother him..."

"Busy?" Mokuba gave her a dubious look. "No way! He can make time for us, no matter how busy he is." She felt the hammer of defeat slam over her heart as he continued, "He always has time for his girlfriend and his brother! Especially **you**, Kujaku-san!" He grinned as he gushed, "I really can tell that you've changed him. He's so much more happier now and he smiles more. He even laughs! It's all because of you. Thank you so much." Earnestly, the kid took one of her trembling hands and peered into her eyes. "He loves you and you love him and... I love you too. Don't tell Seto because it's a bit embarrassing but, ah... I consider you two like... my parents. I know, Mom and Dad are my real parents and I love them very much even though I don't remember Mom well... But maybe that's why you're like... a mother to me. You're my mother and my sister. Kujaku-san?"

By this time, Mai couldn't hold herself in. She was crying for all of them: for Mokuba, for herself and for Kaiba, amazingly enough. _That asshole is lucky to have such an amazing brother._ And Mokuba was right: Kaiba used to be so frozen. Actually, when they first formally spoke to each other, they were the reflection of each other. Both of them were so independent, so cocky, calculating and cold. Kaiba had pissed Mai off at first until she knew what that callous, scathing act was concealing: a heart full of pain.

"You really... mean that?" Mai asked between sobs. She squeezed her eyes shut. Mokuba gave her a hug.

"Please don't cry, Kujaku-san. And yes, I meant every word."

"You're gonna make a girl very happy someday, y'know that?" Tightening her arms around his shoulders, she whispered, "You made me happy. Very happy. Thank you." _I can't be in his life anymore. Not as his mother, not as his sister, and not even as his friend. Mokuba was friends with Yugi and the others at a time when Kaiba hated them, but this isn't the same. Because whenever I see him, I'll cry. So... it's better if we never see each other again. But dammit Kaiba, why did you have to push me away? You hurt all three of us because of that._

"C-Come on, Kujaku-san," he said, a tad embarrassed as she continued to weep. Whipping out a handkerchief, he continued, "You should only cry this much at your wedding." Which, of course, made Mai cry even harder. He looked around, a blush on his face, as the scene had caught the eye of everyone standing there. She didn't want to cause any more embarrassment to him, so she picked up her face, accepted his handkerchief and wiped away her tears.

"I'm sorry... I don't know what came over me, crying so damn much. You're too sweet, that's why. Be more of a bastard, then I won't cry as much." She was tempted to add, _like your brother_, but stopped herself just in time. After all, Mokuba was naive and he had deep respect for his older brother. Why shatter the illusion now?

Mokuba was about to say something, but he was busy scrutinizing a part of her face. Mai noticed this very quickly and was about to ask what was so interesting when he broke into a chuckle that matured into a laugh.

"Okay, what the hell's so funny?" she asked, half-joking, half-offended. "Is it my face? It's my face, isn't it. What, crying so much made my face red or something? Or was it how corny I was? It **_is_** that, isn't it?! Well, you're **_way_** cornier!"

"Mai-chan... Snot's coming out your nose!" Mokuba laughed.

Finally, Mai broke out into a smile and joined in the laughter. But, still self-conscious, she covered her nose with her hand, trying to discreetly look in her suitcase for some tissues.

"Use my handkerchief. It's new," he giggled, offering said object to her from his breastpocket.

"Thank you," she muttered, blowing her nose in the middle of the white fabric.

"What do you say we get out of here. And I'm hungry!" Holding out a hand expectantly, he smiled. "Let's go."

Offering him her free, more sanitary hand, Mai and Mokuba walked over to the café right behind them.

* * *

"What do you want to order, Kujaku-san?" 

Mai looked up from her menu at the boy sitting across from her. Smiling but seeming to be a bit more cautious around her (and Mai could see why, what with the crying scene she'd pulled), Mokuba averted his eyes once hers met his own. "I think I'll have an omelette," he explained, "and some orange juice."

"Call me Mai-chan again," she complained teasingly. "I think it's cute."

"But you're older! I just can't call you Mai-chan, Kujaku-san!"

Mai leaned forward and rumpled his hair. His eyes were squeezed shut with the motion; he probably didn't like it that much. "Then call me Mai-chan just for today. And I'm paying, squirt."

"Hey, I'm not a squirt!" he proclaimed passionately with a red face.

With feigned surprise, she said, "Really? Then you're a kiddo? Yeah, now that I think about it, you really are a kiddo, huh."

"I'm **neither**, okay Kujaku?" Mai was just playing around and Mokuba was a polite kid, but even she could see through her mirth that she was really pissing him off.

"Hey, I'm sorry, ki-- I mean, Mokuba. I didn't mean anything by it, honest."

"No. I'm sorry, Mai-chan," he said with a smile, signifying that she was forgiven, as well as the discarded formality. "I shouldn't have yelled at you. You're the adult, not me."

"But you are, Mokuba, you know that?" Mai leaned forward earnestly. "You've gotten more mature and taller too. And good-looking and--"

"Okay, okay!" he laughed. "I get it. And you don't believe all that stuff, so you can stop now."

"I'm being serious," Mai insisted. At his dubious look, she said, "I am!"

"Well, have you decided yet? And I'm paying."

"Mokuba..."

"No, really, I don't mind. It's my treat. Now you can't say no, can you?"

"Whatever makes you happy, I guess," she replied doubtfully as she scanned the laminated menu. In truth, Mai wasn't all that hungry. Her stomach was hurting a little too. She simply discarded the matter as cramps and proceeded with her selection. After all, she wasn't about to insult her host. "I'll have a lemon poppy seed muffin and a coffee." It seemed fair. Although the café was ritzy and the food items were priced somewhat expensively, the muffins were the cheapest thing on the menu. As for the coffee, she would get a small. She didn't want to impose on her young companion.

Mokuba gaped at her incredulously. "That's_** it**_?" he demanded. "That's not enough. Order something else. You don't want any eggs?" At her shaking head: "Any toast?" Another wordless refusal. "What about some bacon? Chocolate-chip pancakes?!" When Mai shook her head again, he exclaimed, "Wow! Chocolate-chip pancakes are good, especially the ones here and you're just turning that down, huh."

"A woman's gotta keep her figure," Mai offered in the way of an excuse.

"If you insist. But I'm gonna order the pancakes and you have to take a bite," he offered in the way of a compromise.

"Deal," she accepted as the tall handsome waiter came over to their table and asked for their order. Mokuba ordered for both of them as Mai lost herself in her thoughts, namely her suitcase. She looked down at the bulky luggage by her shin. Thankfully Mokuba hadn't asked about it but she knew he had noticed--how could he not? If she wanted to keep up the charade that she and Kaiba were as happy as could be, she had to think up an excuse, and fast. But there was no danger of being found out. Lying was and had always been Mai's strong suit.

Especially when it came to lying to herself.

But those were little white lies, lies that didn't harm anyone...

"You doing good, Mai-chan?" Mokuba chirped, catching her off guard.

"Oh, yeah," she replied with a nod and a smile that was too wide. "I'm doing just fine."

...except herself.

"I see you have a bag with you." Mokuba peered down at it. "And you were saying something about leaving the country...?"

"Oh, no!" she exclaimed, waving her hands as if to blur the assumption. "Well, I thought about taking a little vacation, but I'd miss my Seto too much." She almost choked on the lie, but somehow injected a squeal of affection when her mouth tasted Seto's name. Just saying it made her want to hurl.

Mokuba titled his head to one side, peering at her in the dissecting way a psychiatrist might. Mai wanted to laugh at the comparison. Perhaps she did need a psychiatrist; she was having enough problems to enlist the help of one. But she wouldn't toss the role to Mokuba. There was no way in hell she would make him the bellboy for her emotional baggage.

"Are you sure? Because you look a little... upset... And kinda sick, now that I think about it."

Sick? Mai felt her forehead. Yeah, she was a little warm, but so what? "Sick? Upset?" Mai threw out a nervous, pretending-to-be-carefree laugh. "No way. I'm doing just fine."

"It's about Seto, isn't it." Without waiting for her response, he barreled on, "He did something stupid, didn't he?!" Mokuba looked down, pounding his fists on his legs. "No way. And I thought he was changing too. Well, I'll give him a piece of my mind--"

"Mokuba-kun!" No, this was not the way things were supposed to turn out. For Mokuba to chew out his brother on her behalf? No, she couldn't and wouldn't cause a rift between those two. She would never forgive herself if that happened. "Really, things are going fine. Yeah, things are a bit rocky, just a **bit**, but we'll work through it. It was all my fault; I can be such a bitch sometimes. Well, all the time. I was going to run off, but when I saw your face, I knew I couldn't go. I won't run away from my problems," she vowed fiercely. "Mai Kujaku doesn't quit, ever."

For the moment, that seemed to work. But there was still a bit of doubt in his face. "I'm not stupid," he said softly. "Something's going on. What if I talk to him? I won't yell at him, I just want to--"

"Ah, Mokuba-kun, don't you know? You're not supposed to get involved in lovers' quarrels. This is a problem between adults. I'm sorry to say it, but you'll just make things worse." At his deflated expression, Mai wanted to kick herself. Plus, her tone had turned hard and cold and she hadn't wanted to be cruel to Mokuba at all. But if she continued to be compassionate and patient with him, he'd just run off and scream at Kaiba for nothing. In that respect, they were both so damn stubborn... Mai enjoyed a bit of perseverance, but this kind of thick-headedness was too much. "Just stay out of it. Can you do that for me, Mokuba?"

Mokuba sighed, at last defeated. "Okay," he relented. "You promise you'll go home?"

Mai laughed, making her amethyst eyes sparkle. She leaned forward and rumpled his hair again. Mokuba was such a child sometimes. "I promise. I'm not leaving Japan, I thought I told you that." She smiled teasingly. "Such an audacious boy. Just listen to me and you'll be fine."

"Okay," he repeated. "But only for now. I'm still gonna do something about it later."

Now she was the one who had to sigh in defeat. She had been joking before, but now that she thought about it, Mokuba really was audacious. He just couldn't listen to authority. Ah, well. That was what it meant to be a rebellious teen. Shoving down boundaries, resisting rules, pawing at the truth even if it hurt... Sure, Mokuba meant well, but Mai was trying to help him. She just wished he could see that.

"Open wide!"

Mai snapped out of it. Their order had arrived and now Mokuba leaned forward with a forkful of pancakes with a smile as dazzling as a sunny day. His eyes sparkled like jewels above his nose, but they weren't nearly as hard. Rather, Mai could've sworn she saw a trace of tears creating a soft film over his irises. But then she blinked and the tears were gone. Must've been her imagination.

"E--Excuse me?"

"You promised me you'd take a bite! C'mon, eat a little! They're really good and they're even topped with whipped cream!"

Mai looked around to see if anyone was watching them. There weren't many people in the café. Just a group of businessmen and a guy in a funny-looking newsboy hat and a tan trench coat reading the newspaper.

"Forget your figure and eat!" he persisted.

Self-consciously, Mai leaned a little in her chair and ate the forkful of pancakes. The chocolate chips were half-melted and the batter was fluffy. It really was good.

The world needed more rebellious people, more people that walked around with their heads held high, unique from the black and white dullness of society, chock-full of audacity. So even though Mokuba's persistence bothered her somewhat, in the back of her mind she appreciated it.

She couldn't help feeling jealous however.

Everyone was so bold, so colorful.

Everyone except her.

* * *

Mokuba had offered to escort her home, but she waved away the offer, saying she had to run a tiny errand and dashed off before he could protest. Mai felt bad about ditching him, but there was no choice. She had to make her move, and fast. 

Mai had long decided that imposing on any of her friends was impossible. Plus, that would make her feel like shit, like she was dependent on other people's kindness and she couldn't face that. So instead, Mai checked into a modest hotel: not too shabby and not too extravagant. It suited her, especially since she was trying to be conservative with her money.

Next of course went looking for a job. Mai felt deep shame at not having kept herself busy during the long months when Kaiba just ignored her. But her new mentality allowed none of that-- crying about the past. Instead, Mai riffled through a free newspaper and tore out the wanted ads that interested her. She didn't have a pen on her and she wouldn't steal the hotel pens. That was just too pathetic.

Once she got a job, Mai would have to find a place to live. She looked into that as well. Mai decided an apartment would suit her--her _**bachelorette**_ pad, she had thought wryly. Rent would be relatively inexpensive, well compared to Tokyo's housing anyway, and for one person, an apartment was more than enough space. She thought she might get lonely all by herself but she shoved the pessimistic thought down. She would get used to it, just like she had gotten used to the more crappy conditions in her life, for a time anyway. Mai was an adapter and change no longer bothered her.

By the time Mai had dashed about here and there, trying to fix her life, the sun was going down. She went to a cheap Korean restaurant and ordered kimchi: her favorite. After scarfing the spicy cabbage down, she marched wearily to her hotel room--hopefully her home for only a short while--and fell onto the futon, too exhausted to even take a shower or brush her teeth. And anyway, her head hurt like a bitch and her forehead was roasting. Mai knew it was nasty, but fatigue overcame personal hygiene and the weary woman fell asleep. The first day of her new life had ended. Lying there, trying to fight off the sleepiness but losing horribly, Mai wondered how much more of this could she possibly take.


	6. She Doesn't Live Here Anymore

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! Boooo!  
_**

* * *

Seto Kaiba started every day the same way.

He got up at six before his girlfriend of one year, Mai Kujaku without even a glance at her sleeping face and snatched something to wear before going into the bathroom. He took a hot shower for exactly two minutes, just enough time to get himself clean and rinse off. He had his half-Dominican, half-Japanese maid Inocencia prepare his breakfast: rice and fish, nice and simple. Sometimes he had miso, but that was only when he had time left over to waste, which was practically never. So occasionally would probably describe the variance better. If he had time left over (which, again, was rarely), he would usually do something productive involving his work, which mostly dealt with computers. But if he finished his breakfast in exactly three minutes (and he almost always did), he would have no time for that. But he always had time to slap a Post-it on the fridge for Mai because he always wrote those the night before. Then he hurried into his limo to go to work.

Kaiba followed a rigid schedule.

Quick.

Efficient.

Precise.

He knew exactly where his clothes were because he didn't fling them around like someone he knew. He knew the precise location of his razor, his comb and his toothbrush because they were in the bathroom, all lined up, always in the same order and in the same place. He knew the exact time his maid woke up and he could count on her being on her way to the penthouse as he slept. He knew that when he let her in, Inocencia would get to work without preamble because that was what she was: quick, efficient and professional, the exact reasons why he'd picked her.

Kaiba believed in order above everything else.

That was, until she came.

Mai stumbled into his life and he hadn't been able to get rid of her since. But in the beginning, when he was developing feelings for her, Kaiba hadn't wanted her to go anywhere. Oh, sure, at first he had hated her, but that was only because he'd judged her, just like everyone else.

But as he sized her up, he realized one thing:

They were exactly the same.

Mai was cold, snobbish and rude. Kaiba wasn't a scantily-clad duelist, but she was flashy. Breasts, thighs, legs, she had left almost nothing to the imagination. So he called her a whore and a bitch, but only with his eyes and a dismissive flick of his head. Mai Kujaku was not someone he needed to strain more brain cells over. Leave that to drooling mutts like Jounouchi. He would have none of that, and it wasn't like she actually mattered.

So when he snarled at her because she was being callous or overconfident (and almost always to himself, because of the aforementioned reason), he was also, in a way, insulting himself.

Mai wasn't a bitch just to be one. She was hiding a frail heart that had gone through many betrayals. Mai was a suspicious girl, always on guard for those who might take advantage of her or hurt her even more. But that confidence wasn't feigned, up to a certain point anyway. She had confidence in her skills as a duelist, but not in herself and that was what made her unapproachable. That was what made her push everyone away.

With Yugi and the others, she had found friendship and in the process became softer, no longer the harsh, barking woman she was before. But there was still that stubborn stain on her personality--

Alienation.

Mai still had a bit of difficulty trusting others. Sometimes, she was happy, very, very happy.

But other times she would curl up inside herself and not let anyone in.

Kaiba didn't need any friends.

Mai didn't need any friends.

But they were both so miserable.

Why?

If they only needed themselves, then why did Kaiba go to sleep every night with a hole in his heart?

And why did Mai lay her head on her pillow with tears in her eyes?

Why...

Why did he push away the one person who understood him?

There was one person missing in his daily morning routine.

It was true that he barely looked at her in the morning...

...And that the only acknowledgment he gave of her existence was a note to lock the door before going out...

But he thought about her every day, every second.

And now there was no one to read his messages anymore.

No one to write them to.

There was no one.

No one at all.

She was not in this empty mansion, which seemed even emptier without her.

Mai...

Seeing her cry for the last time had been the worst thing in the world for him, but in a way, he was glad. She was free and he was free.

Both of them should be doing a jig in the streets, not...

...crying, like he'd been doing for the past few days.

But only inside. Because no matter how hard he willed himself to cry...

...no tears would fill his eyes.

Kaiba was frozen again.

He'd done such a good job of pretending that now he had relearned that behavioral pattern.

That same isolation, the same frozenness that he'd been given ever since Gozaburo had adopted them.

Ever since his parents died and he was made an orphan with a brother to take care of.

But Kaiba was warm and kind to only Mokuba.

The rest of the world could go to hell.

And he'd honestly lived that life, only caring about his brother and himself until Mai came along.

Until Mai came along and ruined everything.

He could've made himself hate her for doing that.

He could've hated her for causing a scene when they were moving.

For giving him that look that was supposed to twist up his insides and for looking so _damn_ beautiful while she was doing that...

And for crying and screaming...

For storming off without wearing something decent...

For getting mad at _him_ when he told her to cover herself up since she was outside...

But instead, he could only feel...

...Regret.

Deep, scarring, painful regret for letting her go.

Regret for making things end this way.

Regret for not chasing after her and telling her how much he loved her, tackling and pinning her to the sidewalk if he had to.

Why had he screamed, "Well, fuck you too, bitch!" when she told him to have a nice life?

Of course Mai was going to be upset.

He'd meant to let it go, to let her say her piece and then walk out of his life.

She'd called him a feminine sanitary product and his response was to stoop down to her level.

Perhaps he was even more childish for responding.

He would never know.

He would never know because she was gone.

* * *

"Seto?"

Kaiba was holed up in his computer room, earnestly at work. Or at least trying to work anyway. But the dull glowing of the huge monitor wasn't really the most fascinating thing right now. He was mulling over memories and dreams of Mai. He couldn't refer to her as his ex. It hurt too much to think of her as crossed out of his life. Right now, he was thinking of her scent. That perfume she always used.

Audacity...

Mai wasn't the one with the audacity. Kaiba was. How could he have been so shameless as to throw her out? He hadn't even tried to stop her. All he had done was follow up his insult with, "Just get out, Kujaku. Get out and do me a favor: don't come back." He hadn't even checked to see if she had a place to go. There was her family, but he knew how crappy things were between them. What if she were out on the street? But then he shook his head. It couldn't be. _It can't be_, he thought fiercely as his shaking hand went for his cup of coffee. _No, Mai is strong. She'd find a way. It's not like she's helpless without me. She's a woman._

A taunting, female voice cooed somewhere in his distant memories._  
_

_"You're a child..."_

Mai had called him a little boy during their argument, but he was thinking of another time. A time when the older woman had smirked at him when he asked her to be his.

And then she laughed, pointing out again that he was--

_"...just a child."_

Eight years separated them and Mai had made it seem like an ocean stood between them, like he was so young and stupid and she was so mature and wise. The age difference _was_ huge, but it didn't quite matter to him. He didn't see age when he saw Mai. He saw love. Pink, warm, overflowing love.

Others would scoff if they knew he was so sentimental. To an extent, he'd played down how much he loved her, but whenever they were alone...

Perhaps that was what kept them apart: Kaiba's slight fear of public affection.

Or perhaps Mai was right when she summed him up as a little boy.

Maybe he'd never know.

"Seto?"

Finally Kaiba turned around. He stood in the doorway of the shadowed room, an indeterminable expression on his face. Kaiba turned around in his leather swivel chair to face him. Putting forth a bland expression, he regarded his brother. "Hello, Mokuba," he greeted tonelessly. "Is there anything you need?"

Mokuba stepped forward. "I did as you asked, Seto," he responded in the same dead voice.

Seto struggled to insert some patience in his voice. "Yes, I _know_, Mokuba," Kaiba explained calmly. "You've been telling me that ever since you got back."

"Yes, but only because _you_ haven't done anything about it." Mokuba gave him the same look he would give his elder brother whenever he wanted something: eyebrows angrily curved over pleading eyes, chin jutting out, lip pouted in defiance.

Usually the remedy for this would be for him to get up, smile, say something reassuring and rumple his hair. But he could not do this because it hadn't worked last time and it certainly wouldn't work now. Besides, Mokuba was too old for that.

Kaiba raised an eyebrow. "And just what is it that I should do?" he asked in a level tone.

Mokuba's face melted, but the matter was far from resolved. Determination glinted in his eyes as he said, "Get Sis back."

Kaiba allowed a cruel bark of a laugh to touch his lips. He himself was surprised at the outburst. " 'Sis'? I'm sorry, Mokuba, but my relationship with Mai is over. She isn't going to be your sister."

This time Mokuba used a sweet, husky voice to plead his case. "You can change that. You can get her back in our lives. In your life."

Kaiba turned back around with a groan, holding the bridge of his nose and allowing his palm to splash up against his forehead. He was burning up. He would've used the temperature of the room as an excuse, but that was impossible. The room was air-conditioned. "Just tell me... is everything okay? You never told me."

"Of course everything's okay." A hand landed on his shoulder. He looked up into his face, then back at his hand. Funny how that hand was so big and strong-looking, as if it could take down one of his shoulders permanently yet it looked so tiny at the same time. A scene of the two holding hands flashed through the archives of his memories. He could remember how small that hand had been in his own. Kaiba shook his head and cast one jeweled blue eye down on his brother. "The situation has been taken care of."

"I appreciate you doing this for me. You know that, right?"

Silence.

"I would've gone myself, but I have a lot of work to do. Plus, leaving Mai would've--"

"--looked suspicious." Mokuba sighed. "Yes. I know."

"So... Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me. I'd do anything for you."

"Except drop the subject."

"Exactly."

"How was Singapore anyway?"

"It's a beautiful place, but Seto, you're changing the subject."

He sighed. "I know. I know. It's just that... it's hard for me. For people to talk about her when they don't even know her... It pisses me off."

"It hurts you." Mokuba gave his brother's shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"She didn't do anything wrong--"

"Except love you. That's why you didn't go after her, so that you could protect her. Oh, but Seto, what the hell did you _**do**_ to her? I saw her after everything," he explained for the millionth time. "She looked terrible and sick too. You should've seen her, she was trying so hard to look happy, too happy--"

"Mokuba!" When it came to his brother, Kaiba was as patient and understanding as a calm ocean, with the occasional undercurrents. Dear, sweet Seto let his brother do whatever he wanted, unless it involved doing something dangerous (or, more frequently back then, anything involving Yugi and his friends). He wouldn't have snapped at him like that, but when bad news is repeated to you over and over and over, the listening party most likely will snap. "I know. I know because you've told me over and over and over about how frail Mai is, how emotional. But what you don't realize is that she's strong. She can make it. She's like a fucking chameleon for God's sake. She can adapt to anything." A grim smile tumbled onto his lips as wry words fell from his mouth. "This douche isn't going to slow her down or defeat her. Right now, she's probably cursing me out. Wherever she is, whatever she's doing, she'll make it, all right? So just drop it."

"Can you?" he asked quietly, moodily.

"What?"

"Can _**you **_just drop it? Can you just let it go? Can you forget her? Can you?"

"I can do anything if I put my mind to it," Kaiba answered bitterly. "I've gotten through tougher ordeals. This will pass if I concentrate on what's really important." And here he finally injected some affection into his voice as he ruffled Mokuba's hair. "You and my company. Those are the only things that matter to me."

"Those shouldn't be the only reasons why you're happy."

Kaiba's smile faded. His hand dropped from the top of Mokuba's head like a dead fish.

"Mai's important too."

"I--I know, Mokuba. I know. It's just--"

The phone ringing in the other room interrupted the older male's side of the conversation. When it was clear that no one would answer it, Kaiba cursed loudly, springing up from his seat. Good help was so hard to come across these days.

"Slackers," he muttered, oblivious to the fact that the army of servants were out completing various tasks for him. Actually, there was nothing substantial that needed to be done. Kaiba was just feeling antisocial and didn't want anyone even in the same mansion as him, with his exception being Mokuba of course. But the definition might be changing somewhere if Mokuba was going to keep being so doggedly determined about the issue. _Just like Mai_, he thought. _If she had pulled the same ignoring shit with me, I would've given her a piece of my mind and left. Why'd it take so long for her...?_ As he walked out of the room and to the table cradling the phone, he continued to rant to himself._ It's my fault. I was lazy. I should've been outright about breaking up with her instead of hoping she'd leave me on her own. I just made things more painful, for myself and for her... and Mokuba. God, that kid loves her so much._

**_RIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG!!!_**

He snatched the phone off the hook and held it to his ear. "Hello?" Kaiba snapped.

"Hello. Is Mai Kujaku there, sir?"

"Pardon?" he asked rudely, still not quite comprehending the request. He'd just been thinking about her when this call comes through to remind him even more of her. As if he needed reminding. His mind flew back to Mokuba's words. Could he just forget her? Kaiba knew he couldn't. He couldn't. She was the first woman he'd ever loved after all. First love was always the hardest to forget.

"Mai Kujaku." A tsunami of false excitement vibrated through the salesman's voice. "I have this amazing proposition for her. It's about a new cold cream--"

Kaiba's voice was flat yet a little fiery hardness sizzled in the core. "She doesn't live here anymore."

He didn't wait for the caller to fumble through his next sentence.


	7. Long Day

**_Hello, all and welcome again! This goes out to FFNRocks, whose lovely review has given me much encouragement. (Sorry I didn't thank you in the last chapter but... They match! Mai's chapter, a review about a Mai chapter...) Rest assured, I was not and will not make Mai a model. I want her to be strong and confident, just as she is in the anime and manga, and making her a model would be just showcasing her looks, not anything else. And I'm pretty sure Mai hates being thought of as just a pretty face. Your review was appreciated, so thank you! I'm just as addicted to writing this story, weird as it is since I've long since stopped being a YGO fan. I think I could venture into this fandom again actually. _**

**_Now for... the rest of you who didn't review. (Yes, that means YOU, and I'm sending an icy Kaiba glare to YOU. I kid, of course, I kid...) Now, how am I supposed to know if I'm doing a good job if you don't review? Just a word would be okay, you know._**

**_Which brings me to another request. Happy ending or sad? Not exactly sad, but... empowering. Like Mai gets a job and moves on from Kaiba. I've been torn between the two, but I think I'm leaning toward the latter. What do you guys think?  
_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (And, no, stealing hotel pens is not pathetic. I do it all the time. x__D)_**

* * *

Mai woke up at dawn. She didn't like to sleep in. If she did, she felt lazy, as if she'd just wasted an entire day. But Mai was feeling good today, full of energy and determination. This was a relief, especially since yesterday she'd felt like crap, but then again, ever since she'd left him she felt like crap. With her new outlook, she could focus on the important things. 

Namely her car.

As Mai got up, brushed her teeth, took a shower and went through the rest of her morning schedule, she'd cursed herself for having forgotten such an important thing. Her jet-black car was at Kaiba's. She did have a dark blue one, but that one was at the mansion. This left some questions in her mind. Why had they moved to the penthouse in the first place and why had he insisted that she leave her car there? The black car was a gift to her from him, but she missed the familiar leather interior of her old car. At the time, she hadn't even thought to ask about it. She shook her head. When she was with him, she'd let her guard down and allowed herself to accept the cards she was dealt. It was a good thing she'd gotten away from him.

Mai's stomach grumbled, which meant it was feeding time. The hotel didn't offer breakfast, as she had found out a few days back to her disappointment, so she would have to venture out into the world to find something to eat. But it was after she stepped outside into the hot, muggy world (so unusual since the sun was just rising, but it was summer after all) that she found her appetite to be severely lacking. And anyway, why eat when she could be out being productive? Revived, Mai back inside to change. Her outfit was too casual to go out looking for a job.

There was a problem however. The white shirt and gray slacks was the only thing she had that was suitable for her tasks. She'd tried to land jobs with her miniskirts, but the bosses weren't fooled by the blonde's tugging-down-on-the-hem-so-that-the-skirt-looks-longer act. By this time, Mai couldn't be picky and not wear the same outfit twice (and perhaps more times), but there was a saucy kimchi stain on her collared shirt. It was small, so she could see how she'd missed it before.

_Shit. I mean, fine. It's a tiny setback, but it's fine._ Mai went to the tiny bathroom and left the faucet running while she dashed off to retrieve the shirt. Once she found it, she took the rumpled fabric and placed it under the small stream of water directly on the stain. Armed with a little slimy-looking gunk she thought just barely passed for liquid soap, she set upon her task.

_Get out, get out, get out, get out!_ But neither mere will power nor her vigorous scrubbing was enough for the stubborn stain. It remained there like a tightly-packed pebble in a river.

"Fuck!" Mai swore as she flung the shirt to the floor. First her shoulders began to quake in anger, then her arms joined in the dance. Her legs became rigid, her stance mirroring the one she'd faced Kaiba with; the first near-argument they'd had in the kitchen, all over a stupid cup she hadn't washed. She slapped two palms to her aching eyes.

That was when she burst into tears.

Shaking, convulsing, sobbing, Mai expressed her anger, frustration and hurt. Her legs gave out. She crumbled to the floor like ancient dust.

_Why am I like this? _she demanded as she buried her face in her lap. But her toughen-up act didn't work this time. Instead of making her feel better, it made her cry even harder. All of that talk about being strong and not crying about the past--what a joke! Mai had never felt so pitiful and weak as she did in this moment.

_If Kaiba could see me now..._

Mai looked up with tears dripping from wide eyes.

_...he'd be laughing so hard._

"Since I'm nothing without him, he'd be laughing so damn hard."

Mai stood up.

"Fuck you, Seto Kaiba! You can go to hell! I don't need you! I **NEVER** needed you, you hear me?! Never!"

Her determined screams echoed back at her from the lonely stained walls of her miserable hotel room. But instead of feeling despair, Mai felt a tiny bit of hope in hearing that extra voice. It was as if the hotel room was supporting her.

"**I NEVER NEEDED YOU, YOU BASTARD!!!!**"

"I never needed you, you bastard!!!" the walls shouted back.

Then Mai laughed and the room laughed with her. _I'm crazy for yelling like this, _she thought with a mouth full of giggles. _I'm just screaming at myself like--like an idiot! What do my neighbors think? One of them might bang on my door any minute and tell me to keep the party down._ With a hand raked through her golden tresses, she squeezed her eyes shut, red mouth still laughing. But--how odd?--Mai was still crying! How could this be? She was amused beyond belief. She wasn't sad. She wasn't...

She knew deep in her heart why she was crying. From leaving him until this moment, Mai had not given herself a chance to really cry about losing him. And she could call him names all she wanted--it didn't change the fact that she still loved him.

But she allowed herself one last lie: she was laughing so hard that she was crying and couldn't stop. She fell back on the futon stomach first and sobbed into the sour-smelling pillow. Her shrieks and tiny screams of, "Why? Why?!" were absorbed by the pillowcase that made her face itch. Mai even took her aggressions out on the poor lumpy head support, pretending the pillow was Kaiba's fat ol' head. And then after a century, she felt her head turn and her eyelids grow heavy from tears and weariness. It was only then, when she was on the cusp of unconsciousness that the truth finally came to her.

She was hurting so bad, she was crying and couldn't stop.

* * *

Mai did not know how long she had cried or even how long she had slept. But when her swollen eyes finally cracked open, she peered out the blackening window view. It was night. 

"Fuck," she seethed. She would have to wait until tomorrow to make any sort of progress. All that wasted time... How ironic that she had started the day early only to waste it crying and trying to wash a stupid shirt.

_I hate myself so much. _

She fell back asleep.

* * *

Mai didn't like the fat balding guy glowering in front of her. 

For one thing, he acted as if everything she said was the most outlandish thing in the world. Mai hated being treated like some dumb blonde. _I'm smarter than you_, she seethed as she gave the disgruntled male a sweeter-than-honey smile. _I'm doing you a favor by even being here, you lazy slob._

Then there was his general disposition. With a disparaging smirk, leaning his blubbery form on his comfy swivel chair and smoking a cigar, he was the stereotypical image of a gangster. He looked like he was supposed to be hiring goons to assassinate his foes and setting up sick teen prostitute rings, not distressing over misplaced documents. Even with his suit, he looked horribly out of place in an office.

The collar of his dress shirt was high up on his neck. It probably had a lot to do with the tightly-tied tie holding his red throat hostage. Mai could see sweat stains on the pits of his sleeves, no matter how hard he tried to hide them, which wasn't very well. Every few minutes or so, he'd raise his arms in an elaborate gesture so as to provide the woman with a whiff of the result of his failing deodorant. His jacket was too small for his bulky frame and looked childish, like a doll's vest on a teddy bear. Only this guy wasn't nearly as cuddly, even with the cute Blue-Eyes White Dragon plushie on his desk.

"So, let me get this straight," the guy breathed, straightening a stack of papers with exaggerated weariness, raising his elbows high as he did so. "**You** want a job."

"Yes," Mai responded with an eager nod, as if he were offering her the most sought-after job in the universe.

"At **my** company."

"Yes."

His two chins quivered as his mouth folded into a grimace. His thick lips shone with saliva. _Tasty_, Mai noted wryly while trying not to smirk.

"Mai-chan, baby." He leaned forward with a sickening, trying-to-be-nice smile that bared his teeth, folding his hands primly in front of him. "How much college education do you have?"

"As stated in my résumé, I have had two years of college education," she said as politely as she could. Leaning forward, Mai crossed her legs and folded her hands just as primly. "And do you know what would really turn me on?" she asked in the same perky voice, allowing something smoky and seductive to enter it.

At last he seemed interested. His bored, glassy eyes acquired a twinkle as he leaned forward even more. The chair squealed in protest. He unfolded his hands and let his thick fingers wiggle around in the air as if he couldn't wait to touch her. And a gold band stood out on his ring finger too. The dick. "And _what_ may that be, Mai-chan?" he asked.

"If you wouldn't call me baby," she replied with a tight-lipped smile. "After all, politeness is essential, especially in the workforce, am I right? When I get this job, I and the other employees would feel more comfortable if a level of respect was kept up."

Taken aback, the obese man's eyes bulged. With a cough, he sank back into his seat. "_When?_ If isn't an option for you, is it. Well, little lady, you sure sound confident."

"I'm not a little lady either."

As if she were the unreasonable one, the man's face steadily pinkened until his face was like a boiling tomato. "You seem to be highly sensitive to what people call you."

"How can I not?" she questioned coolly with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm slowly but surely losing my patience with you, girl."

"Then I ask you to please refer to me properly."

"And what would that be?"

"Kujaku is **fine**, just fine." But she kneed her voice in the groin of that sentence in a way that left no room for any options. It wasn't a congenial request, but a coldly made command. The middle-aged man seemed to understand this, and so didn't chase after the matter. He coughed instead.

"Okay... Kujaku." He examined his documents again. "It says here you majored in Business."

Mai readjusted her legs. "Yes," she responded smoothly, straightening out the imaginary wrinkles in the cream-colored jacket with her palms. "I didn't want to be idle. A woman should have intelligence."

"And your minor was in Cosmetology."

"Physical beauty is just as important, or even more so than inner beauty. It's an unfortunate fact, but it's there nonetheless. I've been interested in cosmetology for a long time and--"

He held up a restraining hand. "Just why did you quit?" he inquired with a malicious glint in his eye.

Mai straightened up in her seat. "Pardon?"

"Whatever the situation, you could've at least finished your college education, am I correct? Did you flunk out? Get expelled? Get knocked up?" He snickered the last scenario.

"I most certainly did not encounter any of those things," Mai flared. She wanted to keep cool, but she couldn't restrain herself. "And to be honest, I don't think it's any of your business."

"Well, to be _**honest**_, I don't particularly need you in my company. Get out!" he roared as he indicated the door with a meaty index finger. "You're a spoiled little brat who won't get anywhere. You have that rich guy, right? Go home and be a good woman then! Imagine, the rich trying to get work," he scoffed.

Mai jumped to her feet, face sporting the shade Red Rage, just like her nails. "All right," she relented. "I'll go. I didn't want to work for this stupid place anyway. I feel bad for your employees, especially the women. Having to be sexually harassed by a fat, sweaty oaf like you has got to be a downer. Good luck, asshole. You're gonna need it."

And with that, the passionate woman turned on her heel and left him sputtering behind her.

_Sorry, hon_, Mai thought as she slammed the door behind her and pressed her back against it as if the overweight man would come barging after her. She laid her palm over the pocket of the rich fabric of the jacket. With mournful eyes, she looked down at the gold buttons twinkling like brass. _Looks like this outfit went to waste, huh. _Her mind fled back to earlier that morning, when she broke her vow to be self-reliant just for a little while...

* * *

_The fact glaring up at her was that she needed a clean outfit to go to interviews in._

_She refused to get her shirt dry-cleaned. That was money spent too carelessly. It was nothing a toothbrush and a little bleach wouldn't fix. _

_She could've worn the linen shirt if she had access to bleach and a toothbrush, which she didn't. Her red toothbrush was for her teeth only and she couldn't find a supermarket nearby, making finding bleach all but impossible. Her hotel didn't provide an iron, so she couldn't get the wrinkles out of her clothes. Basically, Mai was stuck._

_When Mai took a bus to her house, she refused to see it as dependency. Mai had no choice. She would find an excuse for the sudden need for clothes to borrow when the time came._

_And the time came quicker than expected. The bus stopped in front of a small street near where she lived. She got off at her stop and walked up the street to her house._

_Anzu Mazaki's house was neither too extravagant nor too modest. Mai knew that the girl could live in a mansion if she wanted, but had chosen a simpler lifestyle instead. Oh, but what a charming house it was. Despite how large it was, Mai felt the comforting sensation of a woodsy cottage when she looked up at the wedding cake frosting-white house. Pink roses grew in vines all over the walls and French windows stood highly on the brow of the home, a set on the upper and lower floors. _

_She rang the doorbell._

_A petite brunette answered the door. "Hello!" she greeted cheerfully. Her azure eyes widened in recognition. "Mai?"_

_"In the flesh." Without waiting for an invitation, she swept past her into the foyer, mentally hitting herself for being so sarcastic. "Nice place you got here," she remarked softly, casting admiring eyes at the marble floor, the potted plant beside the door and the winding staircase._

_"Thank you," Anzu replied. "I see you haven't changed," she hollered back at her as she ventured into the kitchen. The older girl wasn't sure whether she was to follow her or not. "Still barging into other people's places unannounced."_

_"It's part of my charm." Mai heard Anzu laugh. She craned her neck to see her while taking one step forward. "You got any servants? This place is huge."_

_"Huge?" Anzu was getting some cups, as evidenced by the tinkling of glass. Now she heard something being poured. "Nah. I have a maid, but whatever's worth getting, I can get myself. I don't need to be waited on."_

_Mai snorted. "Figures."_

_"Hey, come into the kitchen. My throat is getting sore."_

_"And you complain a lot," she replied under her breath as she walked through the hallway to the adjourning kitchen. But she didn't mean anything vicious by the remark. Mai had a lot of respect for Anzu actually. She wasn't a strong duelist, but her heart was big and she loved her friends, and that was enough. _

_Sunlight streamed through wide windows. Anzu's pastel pink dress fluttered in the hot summer breeze as she swiveled around with a smile. She was wearing a teddy bear-print apron. In her hands was a tray of lemonade in a pitcher and some cookies._

_Mai's laugh made Anzu's eyes narrow. "Just what's so funny?" she asked._

_"Lemonade and cookies! You're like a mom!" Her purple eyes widened in shock as she pointed a fake accusatory finger at her belly. "No way. Don't tell me you're--!"_

_"No!" Anzu shouted, reddening. "I'm not pregnant. I'm not planning on being a mom for a long, long time."_

_"No?" Mai picked up a cookie and broke it in half with her teeth as Anzu set down the tray on the counter. Warm and freshly-baked, the cookie was quite good. Oatmeal raisin. And Mai didn't even like oatmeal raisin. "You didn't meet a nice boy in Russia?" she asked around crumbs of the cookie._

_She shook her head. "No. But I had a fantastic time there!"_

_"Ah. So the dancing thing's going well. That's good."_

_Anzu beamed. Other than her family and friends, the one thing that could get a reaction like that out of her was ballet. Mai had seen the girl dance once and was amazed. She had such grace, it almost made her jealous._

_Mai picked up the glass Anzu had poured for her and gulped down the sweet, tangy contents. Sadly, she had to move quickly. Mai did want to catch up with her friend, but she was pressed for time._

_She took hold of the crook of Anzu's elbow. The shorter girl looked up at her, a question in her eyes.  
_

_"Let's take this party upstairs," Mai said with a huge grin as she pulled Anzu to the staircase._

_"H--hey! What about my cookies? And lemonade?"_

_"Not now, not now. Delicious, by the way. You make the lemonade yourself?"_

_"Yeah, but Mai--! You're hurting me!"_

_Mai loosened her grip. "Sorry. Where's your room? You know this house better than I do."_

_"I'll take you there." Anzu led the way up a staircase that seemed to stretch on until forever. They reached the top and encountered a hallway of doors. Mai looked on in awe._

_"A family of five could live here."_

_She opened the first door and gestured inside. "After you, my lady," she said in a voice dripping with sarcasm._

_Mai smiled. "With pleasure." She flounced inside._

_Anzu's room was big, but as cozy and comfortable as a small library. On the walls, Mai saw posters of dancers in intricate poses. A few pictures of other places like Italy, India, and Puerto Rico flanked the walls as well. Anzu had been around the world several times in her dancing career. A princessy bed rested in one corner, packed with lace and frills and ruffles, all the things a little girl might love. Even the white wire headboard had a little studded crown atop it! There was a soft chair with a teddy bear in one corner and a small sofa in case she had guests. There was no T.V., but there was a huge mirror with a wooden bar aligned beside it covering almost all of the wall behind her._

_ "If you had any gentlemen callers... I doubt they'd bang you in this room."_

_"Mai!" A deep flush went into her cheeks as she crumpled up her hands into fists._

_Mai smiled to show she'd meant no harm. "Kidding. But clean up before you sleep with some guy, okay?"_

_"Why'd you come here anyway? To tease me?"_

_"No. To borrow some clothes from you." Anzu watched on with a gaping mouth as the blonde marched over to the double doors framing a large closet. She flung it open. "I knew it!" she exclaimed with a peal of excitement, examining the long skirts and wholesome shirts. _

_Anzu raised a suspicious eyebrow. "Why would you need to borrow something of mine? You hate my taste in clothes."_

_"Oh, give me some credit, Anzu." Mai parted the hangers of clothes and looked over at the far corner of the closet. "Sometimes I want to look my best."_

_"Mai... Is something wrong?"_

_Damn that girl for being so intuitive. Mai kept her head buried in the clothes as if she were transfixed. "What do you mean?" she asked offhandedly as she took out a hanger and fingered the skirt laying on it. "I'm just fine."_

_"It's just that... you seem down. Like you're trying too hard to be cheerful and... borrowing clothes from me is kinda... weird, even for you."_

_"Even for me?" Mai chuckled. All the while her heart was pounding. "That's a bit insulting, don't you think?"_

_A hand rested on her shoulder. Mai turned around. Under eyebrows curved in concern were cerulean eyes sparkling in concern._

_"Don't tell me you're going to cry," she said as dryly as she could. But try as Mai might, she couldn't stop the tiny dampness of tears edging her disparaging remark._

_"I won't push you," Anzu said gently, like a mother. "Just come talk to me if you ever need anything." She hesitated, then pressed on with, "Hey, is everything with you and Kaiba going all right?"  
_

_"Anzu... Everything's fine. Really. Now... Let me borrow this!" she cried cheerfully as she yanked an outfit out of the closet and brandished it above her head like a prize. The cream-colored jacket had beautiful gold stitching and nice gleaming buttons as if they'd been polished. The slacks were the same color as the beautiful jacket, but had sharp creases in the middle of each pants leg. No matter. She could iron them out if she wanted... at Anzu's, of course. The black camisole underneath was almost daring, with lace that might show a little cleavage. It was perfect._

_The brunette stood with her hands on her hips. "No way."_

_"Oh, come on!" Mai pleaded her case with shining violet eyes, clutching the outfit to her chest. "You're the only one I know with a wardrobe this dorky and I really need this!"_

_She raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really?" she asked coolly. She snatched the hanger out of Mai's hand held it up as if she were a skyscraper. Mai knew she could grab it anytime, but still looked on helplessly. "Well if my wardrobe's so dorky, you won't want to wear this old thing."_

_"I didn't mean it like that! You have such a nice, modest style, so clean and fresh and I'm really envious of that!"_

_"Envious? Wow, what a big word! Stepping up your vocab, I see."_

_"Stop teasing me and let me borrow! Puh-lease?" Without warning, Mai flung her arms around the younger girl's shoulders. "I love you like a sister and... I think I'm ready to tell you everything. I've been in hell, really."_

_ Showing compassion, Anzu wrapped her arms around her cautiously. "Really?"_

_Mai laid her head on her shoulder. "Yes."_

_"So... What's going on, Mai? Really, what's going on in your life?"_

_Mai took a deep breath and let it loose. "Well... Truthfully, I'm... a thief." And with lightning speed, Mai snatched the hanger out of the surprised woman's hand and ran away like mad, laughing._

_"Mai! Argh, I'm such a dumbass! I can't believe I fell for that!"_

_Leaving the girl stewing in the huge room, Mai rushed down the stairs. When she looked down she saw lean ballerina legs taking off after her. Mai dragged out the plant from the door's side to the middle of the floor, walked a few steps back, ran forward and jumped over it just for the hell of it. Now Anzu was within arm's reach, but Mai was quicker. F__linging the doors open to stage her great escape, she slammed the doors in her face.__ Her own appeared in the glass. "Sorry, babe. See ya!" she yelled, blowing a kiss before she took off.  
_

* * *

Mai began her walk to the company elevator, chuckling. "I'm sorry, Anzu," she said in between chuckles. She knew the girl wouldn't be mad at her for long. Sure, they'd gotten and still got on each others nerves, but they were really close. She wasn't lying when she said she loved her like a sister. Mai really cared about the girl. 

But her mirth faded with a sigh. This outfit, which was supposed to help land her "dream" job, had been stolen for nothing.

"I guess I gotta go back and return this," she muttered.

Defeated, the woman trudged to the automatic doors and left.

* * *

"So that was what you needed my clothes for!" 

Anzu gaped at her companion, wide-eyed as she took a sip of her beverage. It was night and the two were at a gloomy bar with blue lighting, kinda like the bars depressed protagonists drank at in Korean dramas. The two women were seated directly in front of the bartender at the counter, who was drying off a mug. His muscles rippled under tanned skin. His golden hair and emerald eyes glimmered under the dim lights. Mai had to admit that he was very handsome. She almost considered flirting with him, but Anzu was right there after all. And anyway, she didn't feel much like flirting if she were to be completely honest with herself. Kaiba was still a huge, bleeding scab on her heart. Flirting with this guy would be like putting a band-aid on a serious wound, and one with weak adhesive at that. It wouldn't work at all.

When she wouldn't respond, Anzu pressed, "Care to tell me _why?_"_  
_

Mai gazed deeply into her shot of whiskey before glancing over at Anzu. She was enjoying some orange juice with, get this, only a _squirt_ of sake. _Such a kid, _she thought with a smile.

"C'mon, let's get drunk," Mai coaxed. She downed the small amount of liquid and slammed it on the counter. "Another," she said hazily to the bartender even though she wasn't drunk. But Mai decided to get into the act. If she acted drunk, then perhaps she would get drunk faster. _Mind over matter_, she reasoned. _Or something._

Again with that worried look, but this time it was coupled with a frown. She reminded her of a certain dark-haired boy she knew. Anzu's hand found Mai's forearm. She looked up. "Mai, are you sure everything's all right? I mean, going to look for a job out of the blue... That isn't like you, Mai." She gave her a searching look, as if hunting for clues of her distress. "Your mannerisms are different compared to... how you were back then. And two months back, you rarely even went out to see us. What the hell happened to you, Mai?

"Anzu, what are you training to be, an amateur psychiatrist?" With a convincingly breezy laugh, Mai pushed her hand away. She was getting much better at lying, but then again, she had been getting a lot of practice lately. " 'Mannerisms'? C'mon, hon, I'm doing just fine. I thought I told you that."

"Did you have a fight? With Kaiba? Is something bad going on between you two--?"

With a sigh, Mai slammed her hands on the counter. Her freshly-poured shot jumped up a little with her outburst, as if deeply fearful of the enraged woman. Anzu sure did look scared, like she would join the alcohol and jump up too. "Why does it always come back to Kaiba?! God, you and Mokuba are the same, exactly the same! You guys just won't let go of anything! I can tolerate him, but not you too, Anzu. I don't need to hear your shit!"

Her stricken look passed, but she still looked a little pale. Soon her shock turned to rage. Anzu scrambled to her feet. "_**First**, _you come barging into my home and without a proper conversation rush up to my room and take my clothes. Now you're yelling at me?!"

Mai's anger evaporated in the heat of her own. Anzu really was pissed. "Anzu..."

"All I want to know," she cried, reddening and with a film of tears over her irises, "is if you're _okay_, Mai."

"You're pushing me," Mai said quietly.

"What?"

"You said you wouldn't push me."

"Well, some promises are meant to be broken. If you hadn't attacked me like that, then I wouldn't have to push you."

"Anzu... I'm sorry. Shit, I'm sorry, _okay_? Is that what you want?"

With a sigh, Anzu sank back down into her stool. She fiddled with the heart-shaped garnet of the ring on her pinkie before looking into her eyes. "No, that's not what I want. This isn't about what I want. I'm sorry for pushing you. I just want you to know that I'm here for you if you ever need anything." Then a lop-sided grin. "Just remember to ask me when you want to borrow clothes, okay?"

Mai threw her head back and laughed. "I did ask!"

"Okay, then. Ask and then wait for my answer."

"You would've said yes regardless, admit it."

"Oh, I don't know. After you called my clothes dorky, I probably would've banned you from my closet. Where'd you try to get a job at anyway?"

"At a toy company. As a secretary."

"Really?!"

"Yeah. With a perverted boss."

"Ew! I don't know how I would've stood it."

"He was pretty rude. Self-centered too. He didn't have to say anything, but he had this I'm-so-cool look in his eyes, like the whole world was supposed to bow down to his royal highness."

"And I bet you talked back to him."

"Yeah."

"And that's why you didn't get the job."

This time, Mai looked down with a bit of sadness mixed with sheepishness. "Yeah. But I think I wouldn't have gotten the job anyway. Not only was I a ditz in his eyes, but I didn't have the proper education and work experience."

"Why don't you go to your parents? You're loaded, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah, my family's pretty rich. But we're not... on the best of terms. It was bad from the beginning and my parents don't approve of me being with Kaiba. Never did, but when do they ever approve of me doing anything? So I'm on my own."

Anzu shook her head. "Nope," she grinned. "I'll help you out. Maybe I can get you hired at my old job."

"Your old job?" Mai blanched. "Anzu, that's a teenage grease job! I'm a woman! I can't be seen there!"

She looked offended. "I _worked_ at that grease job, remember? And I didn't like it any more than you do just hearing about it. But listen, Mai, you gotta work your way up. Just start off small, then you can move on to bigger and better things. It'll be good for you," she giggled. "Maybe you'll learn some humility."

"I'll get my own job," Mai said stubbornly. "But thanks for the offer. Maybe I can work at a ramen shop or a convenience store or something." Her mouth moved uneasily around her options, but Anzu was right. She had to start small, and that meant swallowing her pride. But no way in hell would she work at a fast-food joint. That was where she drew the line.

"Hey, Anzu."

"Yeah?"

"Don't tell the others about this, 'kay? I'll tell them, but... I want to work things out myself first."

"No problem."

Mai dug into her purse and found a carton of cigarettes. She slammed them on the counter as Anzu watched with wide eyes.

"Hey, guy, you got a lighter?" she asked nonchalantly as she leaned forward. She allowed herself a sexy smile. It was only the kind of smile she used to get what she wanted. There was no invitation for further involvement, a fact the handsome bartender seemed to grasp very quickly. That didn't stop him from giving her a flirty lop-sided grin as he told her he did and went to fetch one.

"M-Mai! You smoke now?"

"Not all the time," Mai answered smooth as silk as the lighter exchanged hands. And she was telling the truth: she didn't smoke all the time. She'd started two days ago after she'd left him. She almost felt guilty for doing this in front of her when it obviously made her nervous, but Mai decided to be selfish. And anyway, she deserved it. Getting hit on by a greasy loser, lucking out on finding a good job, riding this emotional roller-coaster with Anzu and having a screaming match with her... Mai had had a long day. What better way to end it than with a nice smoke?

After singling out one special cigarette's company, she jammed it between her lips and flicked her thumb over the lighter's wheel. After a few sparks but no flame, Mai asked the guy for some lighter fluid and handed it back to him, still with that charming, wheedling smile. He obliged; anything for a pretty girl.

"But smoking's bad for you!"

Mai chuckled throatily. Anzu sounded just like an after-school special. "Relaaaxxx," she drawled. "I only do it when I'm agitated. It has nothing to do with you," she assured her friend. "I'm just thinking about some things." _Like my family_, she thought bitterly. _And my ex. And my broken life. And my car. No, wait. My **cars**._

The blonde was weary of waiting for the guy, who was tending to other customers. But she needn't have worried.

Or maybe she did.

Out of nowhere, a lighter came gliding in close to the tip of the tobacco-stuffed stick. But lighters, as well as other things, don't come out of nowhere. This lighter was attached to a hand, which stuck out of a blue sleeve. And that sleeve could only belong to him because that hand could only belong to him.

The thumb clicked the lighter's wheel once. A flame spurt forth like a volcano ejecting lava. Then just as quickly, he made the flame disappear.

And that voice, that voice could only belong to him as well. Mai didn't have to turn around to realize she'd just been dumped even further into hell. But even hell would've been better than being here with this terrible person.

"For once, I agree with the loser. You shouldn't be smoking..."

She swiveled around to find that hell had just frozen over, and it was all because of those icy blue eyes.

"...Mai."


	8. Endings, Beginnings

Well, this story has come to its final chapter. I can't thank my reviewers enough. Thank you! The reason this story is even here is because of you. Thinking would've been a one-shot had it not been for my original two reviewers, so Super Sailor Moon thanks to them. And for anyone who's read/is reading this fic, again, thank you. And I don't send any icy Kaiba glares to you guys. I send gratitude. (Love you! But not that way. Uhm... I'm sorry, but I think we should just be friends. Shh, I know, it hurts, it hurts, but you gotta move on. You've got your whole lives ahead of you!) Okay, I'm done being creepy. On with the chapter!

Disclaimer: For the last time, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! No, really, this is the last time. I'm not being crabby or anything, just truthful.

* * *

For a while, Mai couldn't move, couldn't talk, couldn't even speak. 

She turned around abruptly, too shocked to express anything but... well, shock. Was it a coincidence that he was here? No way. That was impossible. Kaiba had a bar in his mansion. Why the hell would he need to go to a bar? But then that would mean that it wasn't a coincidence and that he'd "bumped" into Mai on purpose. But that was impossible too. He hated her... right? He hadn't tried to stop her from leaving and he most certainly hadn't expressed anything other than outright disgust at her presence. So if this wasn't a coincidence and it wasn't an "accident", then what was it?

As Mai mentally pulled out her hair, trying to make sense of this, she felt something cold.

The lighter wheel.

He was dragging the wheel softly across her cheek. The ridges bit coldly into her skin as he continued the motion slowly...

Tauntingly.

Mai clicked back to life like an ignited lighter. She spun around angrily, glaring at the tall man. She scrutinized his facial features for some hint of his feelings. Nothing. Just like those quiet days before this, he had his poker face intact with no possibility of her cracking it. A ghost of a smirk haunted his mouth, but she couldn't even be sure of its existence. As for his eyes, they had a stern... something about them: it wasn't boiling rage or frosty distaste. It was his stance that made Mai assume his stare was cold before, but now...

Now...

With him, here, now, in this moment...

Oh, why did he have to be so damn beautiful? Why were his narrowed blue eyes so sexy even now, and why did she want to run her hands through his hair and why, why, _**why**_ did he have to look at her that way? Why couldn't he show remorse at all? Anything would be better than this queer look, this look that she couldn't decipher at all.

"L-Loser?!" the girl beside her sputtered and it was only then that she remembered her friend... and that Kaiba had just insulted her. In this bar with its lights sexily dimmed, it seemed as if they were the only ones there. And then there were his eyes... His gaze could make a girl feel as if the only ones on this earth were herself and him. He also had a gaze that made her feel naked, but this one was currently unemployed, never to have a job in Mai's heart again. Besides, the mood wasn't so much sultry as it was nervous and tense.

Kaiba didn't respond, just continued to look at her. Mai was weak and even trembled under his stare. Somewhere along the way, she heard Anzu get up and say something about having to leave.

Some friend. Anzu was ready to split once things got tense. Mai couldn't blame her. The vibes coming from them had to be strange. It was too weird for a third party to witness anyway.

She spat out her unlit cigarette. "What the hell do you want?" Mai hissed, ready to physically fight him if provoked. And with him there, just standing there, Mai felt pretty damn close to punching him.

"Hey, miss, here's the light...er..."

Mai looked up through long lashes at the guy in confusion, who was holding up that lighter stupidly like the Statue of Liberty or something. The poor guy interrupting this crazy serious moment was left there to flounder pathetically as his eyes traveled from the sexy blonde to her even sexier companion. And he'd had his hopes up so high before! Not even her sorta cute brunette friend was there as a consolation prize; she'd split moments before. But Mai wasn't even sure he was real. It was strange, but she'd just... forgotten him, as if he'd never been born. To compensate for this, she decided to show a bit of kindness to the guy. She gave him a brief, fluttering smile and he was almost content until Kaiba's dark glare gave him an almost-telepathic threat to get lost. The guy didn't need to be a mind-reader to know what to do. He scurried off in the opposite direction.

_The guy has the right idea_, Mai thought grimly as she jumped up and stalked off. _I should get far, far, FAR away from this asshole jerk._

It was no use. Kaiba went after her.

He caught up with her at a secluded hallway where the bathrooms were. His fingers went around her arm. His slightly damp palm soon made contact with the skin. "Mai..."

She snapped. Without hesitation, she raised her other arm, bent at the elbow, and slammed it into his throat, pinning him to the wall in the process. "What do you think you're doing? Don't put your hands on me!"

"You know, you're asking a lot of questions, but not giving me time to respond!" With a grunt, he pulled her arm from his neck and flung it to her side. Mai still glowered at him as if she couldn't wait to peel the skin from his bones and burn it.

"From your pompous attitude, I can tell you're not here to apologize. And I don't have time to listen to anything you have to say, even if it is an apology, so fuck off." She raised her chin like the daughter of a duke, giving him her trade-mark eat shit and die glare. Kaiba didn't know how he felt seeing it again. On one hand, the way he'd treated her had turned her into an introverted little child and he was glad to see the old Mai again. But on the other hand, if she was going to be strong, he didn't want her to direct her anger towards him, no matter how much he deserved it.

"Well, aren't we spirited tonight." He grabbed her wrist as she tried to squirm past him. He guided her body so that she faced the other wall, then gently backed her into the one behind her. Very close to her face, his eyes skittered here and there, almost always remaining on her face. Sometimes his eyes fell over her body. "Mokuba made it sound as if you were on the edge of dying, but you seem just fine."

"I said let **go**, you fucker!!"

"You sure curse like usual. Just like when you left me." His fingers went under her chin and tilted it to the ceiling, moving her face back and forth as if examining her. His tone lost a bit of its granite edge. "Why the hell did you let yourself get sick?"

Mai almost had a right mind to kick him in the nuts. She wasn't sure what was keeping her legs firmly locked together so that she couldn't even walk away. "I'm not sick," she protested weakly. Finally she found some muscles that worked in her arms and she roughly pushed the CEO away.

"You're sick," he said gently. "Have you been eating regularly? Well?" he persisted when she looked away sullenly. She would be damned if she'd let her ex treat her like a child. "And don't give me that shit about how you have. You're pale and you look like you've lost weight."

"Okay," she admitted, swinging her eyes to him in a powerful blow. She could've sworn she saw him flinch. "I don't eat every meal. But since when was it any of your business whether I feed myself or not? You're not my keeper, dick. Not anymore."

Kaiba had almost stepped back with the advent of Mai's powerful stare. Why did he have the sudden feeling that he was in danger? Sure, he was stronger so he could take her but he couldn't and wouldn't hit someone he loved. And when would he get the chance? Mai was quick and agile. It wasn't like she'd never hit him before, especially back when they hated each other. He knew firsthand how strong she was.

"You could've left whenever you wanted."

Mai squeezed her eyes shut. A migraine was coming on. "What?" she spat irritably.

"You're right, I wasn't your keeper. I never **owned** you, Mai. You could've left me whenever you wanted but you decided to stick around and take my shit. What the hell is wrong with you, Mai?"

Enraged, her eyes became wide open. "There's nothing wrong with me. I'm the one who should be asking that question. What the hell's wrong with _you_?! You were the one who put up with me all these fucking months! If you wanted to end it, you could've at any fucking time! So don't give me that shit about how hard it was for you. Your "pain", if you can even call it that, was _nothing_ compared to mine. You just sat on your fat ass and waited for me to make the first move." By this time, she couldn't restrain the tears welling up in her eyes. All of the things he made her feel were coming back stronger than ever: frustration, rage, pain, sadness and love. "You want me back? You want to tease me? Fine, but I don't want _either_, okay? So if you came to gloat, go away. If you came to win me back in that twisted, demented way of yours, then kindly fuck off. I'm not gonna stand for it anymore." She couldn't help thinking that someone should hold her tongue so that she couldn't speak. Mai was blabbering on and on, showing even more weakness. She hadn't meant to show anyone her tears, especially not to him. Not again.

A sudden rush of weariness conquered her. The day had been long. _And getting longer_, Mai snidely commented. All she wanted to do was take a hot bath and go to sleep. She couldn't just stand here and have a debating match with Kaiba about who was wrong and who was right.

"Why are you here, Kaiba?" she asked. "Really, tell me the reason. Have you been stalking me? How did you know where I'd be?"

A long silence stretched hot and thick between them. Mai was paralyzed by the sound of the fan whirling in the distance.

And then he sighed and said, "I **_know_** you, Mai."

A hazy spring day mixed with cherry blossoms floated dimly to the surface of Mai's mind._  
_

_'I **know** you, Mai.' _

Trying to squelch the tender feeling in her heart, Mai looked away, crossing her arms. "Hah. You gotta do better than that. Now you're recycling lines. You think flinging that at me again's gonna make me melt?"

His hands landed on her shoulders. Mai looked up.

"I know you, Mai," he repeated. "I know how you act and how you think. I know your mannerisms, your heart and your body better than anyone else."

Finally, something to throw in his face. She looked up at him through her lashes, but the look was far from sweet and demure. "It seems it comes back to that again. I see you take great pride in that, don't you? Especially about knowing my body. Does it make you feel like a man? Does it?"

Kaiba flinched. Dammit, he'd said something wrong again. He hadn't meant it that way. If only he could tell her... But it didn't seem to be of any use. Everything he said, Mai didn't want to listen to. He gave the woman's words some thought. What had he come for anyway? He knew he couldn't be with her. Even now, in this compromising position with her, it would undoubtedly come back to bite her in the ass, in both their asses. If only he could explain that the only reason he'd pushed her away was because of the tabloids... Then maybe they could work things out from there.

Mai wasn't stupid. She knew how the general public despised the sight of them as a couple. Everyone had said that Mai was too extreme for Kaiba, too flashy and extravagant. But what the hell did they know? Not her, that was for certain. They didn't know how sweet or caring or generous she was.

And of course she knew about the tabloids. How could she not, when goons were hounding her all the damn time? But even so, he wanted to spare her the brunt of that pain. Then there was this big story that had spread through Singapore... It was too disgusting to even think about. It was a good thing the whole catastrophe had been marginally avoided.

Then he really thought about it. If he opened his mouth... Just said it right now, the reason why he'd started this whole thing... what would happen? Would she take him back? Could they go back to being a normal couple again? As normal as a CEO and an ex-duelist could be anyway. Kaiba didn't want to make Mokuba upset; he was the one who'd urged him to get her back in the first place. And then there was himself... He missed her, he needed her, and most of all, he loved her.

His eyes widened. Himself. That was what it was coming back to: his wants, his needs. After the way he treated Mai, did she even _want_ him back? He looked into her eyes, eyes that were wide and shining violet. He tried to read those eyes and saw a reflection of himself.

Hard, cold loneliness, but steely determination.

Mai loved him. He knew she did, or at least was mostly sure, but she would move on. She was tired of it. She didn't want to negotiate shit. Whatever Kaiba had to say, he'd better say it and fast... then just walk out of her life like she did out of his.

Like he did long ago.

Long before any of this...

Mai stared up tremblingly into his face, wondering why he'd gotten all quiet on her all of a sudden.

And why he was still so close...

And why he was wearing that damned cologne Mai had bought him when he'd rarely done so before.

Musky, sweet, warm and comforting. Mai closed her eyes to absorb that scent. For some reason, whenever she smelled this cologne, she thought of amber. If only they could preserve all the moments they had in amber so that they'd still be as fresh and vibrant as they had been years ago.

She opened her eyes.

"Why?"

This question didn't need to be expanded upon. From her weak, hazy voice, Kaiba understood the why of this one-word question.

Kaiba didn't know what he wanted to do.

Did he want to keep her at the risk of being selfish or to let her go without even telling her why?

"For you."

Mai dragged herself back in time, back to the times even before Kaiba had shunned her. The business trips, the times when he was away for days, even weeks at a time...

Back then, Mai had always found a way to entertain herself. She went out with friends. She shopped. She read and even drew sometimes.

Then Kaiba would come home with a big smile and kisses for her, hugs and sweet words. I missed you, I love you, I need you... They wasn't a shortage of love between them.

But there was a shortage of time.

In the mornings, Kaiba had to get up and go, also working as he prepped himself for the day. Mai would be up just as early, but without anything to do. They couldn't even have a proper conversation; that was how much Kaiba rushed around. He was anal about being early to work, usually about thirty minutes early.

Mai loved Kaiba and he loved her back. Naturally, they tried to find time to be together, but it was difficult.

It got so bad that after awhile, they couldn't even properly speak to each other in a day. The most they would say to each other was hello and good-bye. Kisses and hugs even went neglected.

And that was when the silence began.

Silence that reigned. Silence that went on and on and on, uninterrupted. First it was days. Then weeks. Then, slowly, months.

"If we really wanted to be together, we could've made the time," Mai began in a low voice full of tears, distorted and foggy as if she were in a daze. Which, in a way, she was. "We could've tried to be together, even if it was for only a few minutes."

"Mai..." Kaiba was astonished, seeing the truth yet not wanting to acknowledge it. What was she saying? He had wanted to be with her! He did want to be with her! "We _tried_."

"Of course we tried." Mai no longer could hold back the tears; they freely roamed down her cheeks. "I know we tried. But... We..." Mai faltered, not able to grasp the words that proved her point. But Kaiba seemed to understand. With a sigh, he stepped back, eyes morosely absorbing her every feature.

"I couldn't have lost weight in such a short amount of time," Mai said through her tears, surprised at the hint of a laugh that had come to visit.

"Yeah, I guess not."

"Did you want me to be helpless when you saw me again?"

He placed a hand on her cheek. Absentmindedly he caressed the golden strands that fell over his fingers. "Maybe. A little."

" 'Yeah, I guess not'? 'A little'? Why, Seto Kaiba, you're not usually so vague."

And surprisingly, the two of them laughed. Two people who were supposed to be at odds and hate each other, two people who were the exes of each other yet still loved each other, they fell into each others arms and giggled as if they were seven and carefree. But both of them at that age were less than carefree, more like adults trapped in miniature bodies. However, this feeling might've been even better than childhood laughter, or at least Mai thought as she squeezed him tightly. Tiny tears escaped the folds her squeezed shut eyes had become and flowed down cheeks rounded by a huge, toothy grin. How odd the two must've seemed to others, especially those who were in line for the restroom.

After two centuries, they broke away from each other.

"What if... we could start over?"

Husky and low, Kaiba's voice betrayed the nervousness he felt... the nervousness they both felt. Mai's liquid eyes met his. A blur of peach, brown and two drips of blue for his eyes. Mai restored her sight by whipping out a handkerchief, the one Mokuba had given her and that she'd washed, and dabbing at her eyes. Folding it neatly, she placed it into his coat pocket.

She smiled.

"What if indeed."

* * *

The next morning brought on a terrible headache for Mai, even though she hadn't even gotten drunk. But she had to go to an interview, so she had no business lying around in bed. Mai sat up and held a hand to her head. After last night's drama, she wasn't sure she could face the day. She couldn't even believe it had happened. Finally there was "closure." Mai had to admit, the way they parted was better than she had expected, but she still missed him. She had a feeling that even when she moved on, she would still think about him. After all, he was her first love. 

"Mmmngggg," she groaned as she staggered to her feet. But Mai soon found out that after that, the rest was easy. Mai went through her daily routine and was out the door in less than half an hour. She munched on a bagel slathered with cream cheese while on the way to the company. She'd applied for a job as some guy's receptionist. Mai was sick of applying to these degrading jobs that had her running errands for people who were supposed to be her betters, but what could she do? Like Anzu said, pride was only a liability. So Mai would put up with anything, even asshole bosses, as long as it helped put food in her stomach, clothes on her back and a roof over her head.

Mai squinted against the glare of the dazzling sunshine as she dashed past a French bakery. She even shielded her brow with her hand, but it wasn't helping much.

A run-of-the-mill day. That was what Mai was expecting. She probably wouldn't get this job. She'd crawl back to her room and eat, watch some T.V., handle her finances and sleep.

Who would've expected that while she was approaching the bookstore and started to walk past it that she'd be punched?

The punch wasn't from a would-be mugger or just a generally unpleasant person, but from an image. It was unlikely that an image would make someone double up and slump to the floor in actual pain. Mai knew that, but she still felt the sting of injustice as vibrantly as if she'd been physically attacked. After all, it wasn't like this was just any other picture. It was a picture slathered on the cover of a magazine like strawberry jam on a piece of toast. But the issue wasn't nearly as sweet.

Actually, the picture was touching. It was a side view of an attractive woman leaning forward to taste what was on the fork of the handsome young fellow who was also inclined forward. A grin made the corners of his eyes crinkle up adorably, a sight that would make any teen girl melt. (And perhaps a few smitten young men if Mai had to admit; his appearance was irresistible to both sexes.) The scene was like that of a manga cover, sweet and innocuous. The two could've even been brother and sister, innocently enjoying breakfast.

But it was the glaring red caption above that twisted the heart-felt moment into a glaring, wicked lie.

**Kujaku Sets Her Sights on Both Kaiba Brothers?!**

And in that damaging statement, that screamed question that boasted its ignorance even more with dripping bold font, there seemed to be a change in the scene. The slight smile tasting Mai's lips seemed to give her violet eyes a seductive twinkle. Mokuba's grinning face boasted simple sibling-like affection, as Mai knew it would. Because in the article within the soiled pages, Mokuba wouldn't be the one being blamed. He was naive and young, very, very young, which made him susceptible to the ploys of gold-digging women like Mai. Mai was the temptress, the pedophile bitch who had one hand on Kaiba's checkbook and the other greedily counting the yen from Mokuba's wallet. Mai was a tramp and always would be.

Mai hadn't noticed it before, but there was a smaller photo in the corner of the magazine. The blurry picture seemed stamped there as an afterthought, something that thinly proved the caption's point. It was as if the layout person had considered the evidence almost unimportant. When she squinted her violet eyes, she could make out a passionate Kaiba pushing her against the wall. Another less insistent but still pushy caption asked: How Far Will She Go?

Mai was covered in sweat, pale and shivering in the hot air. She was breathing irregularly from a gaping mouth like a fish rudely pulled from the safety of the pond into a cruel, cruel world that refused to notice her flopping around, trying to live. Dammit, picking on Mokuba had been enough, more than enough to shatter Mai's heart. But now her ex was being pulled into this too? She felt regret shred up her insides. If she had just pushed him away, this wouldn't have happened. Now Kaiba was being made a fool out of as well.

She wanted to pick up the tabloid and rip it to shreds, but not because of her tatters her reputation had become. It was because the damn writer of the story had nothing better to do than zoom in on an innocent kid who did nothing but treat Mai with love and respect. It was because some asshole wanted some scandal, so decided to suggest a sibling rivalry between two brothers who couldn't be more close. But it wasn't Kaiba who would be the most damaged by this scandal. Kaiba had been featured in the media in an unfavorable light many times. This was Mokuba's first scandal. Her hands clenched into tight, angry fists. _How _**dare**_ they for hurting him. Who was it that had the balls to publish this piece of trash? Who--_ And then it dawned on her. That time in that café, when that guy in a funny-looking hat and trench coat was there...

Oh, no.

It was him.

That morning, he'd looked as if he was reading the newspaper, but he probably had a close eye on the two. Who knows, he could've even been stalking her from the time she stalked out of her ex's house. She was surprised that her lingerie escapade wasn't splashed on all the tabloid covers. She would've gladly suffered that embarrassment to spare Mokuba's reputation. Mokuba had a promising life ahead of him. He would undoubtedly become someone of great social standing and importance. It didn't matter if Mai was the one being ridiculed and blamed. It was Mokuba who had more to lose.

Mai felt like collapsing to the ground and crying, but most of all thought it would be just dandy if she could rush into the damn bookstore and tear apart every edition of that damn lying piece of trash while screaming at the top of her lungs.

But she did neither.

There was nothing she could do.

Mai had to walk away.

Not only did Mai have to walk away from this store that was adding profit to a writer who only cared about entertainment regardless of whether it was credible or not, but she had to walk away from the Kaibas. Mai could never go back to Seto's side. She could never approach Mokuba or even look at him.

She wanted to defend him yet had no control of the situation.

She had never felt so helpless in her whole entire life.

* * *

"Waitress." 

"No way. I'm bad at serving people."

"It might be a nice change, you know. Acting humble and all."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Still not gonna do it. So what's next?"

"Actress."

"Actress?! Get the hell out of here, Mazaki! I can't do that."

"Oh, but why not? You're a natural."

"Sez you, Shizuka, but I don't think anyone else would agree."

"Well, acting is lying and you've got that down pat..."

"...Would you like me to strangle you, Anzu? I'll pretend to be sad at your funeral, I promise."

"Ah! Mai-san! I'd don't think that would be best--"

Mai let loose a bout of laughter that the others contributed to. Shizuka, Anzu and Mai were seated legs crossed in Shizuka's room, deciding the older woman's future. Mai gave a sweet glance to the petite auburn girl. Shizuka was still humble, polite and a bit reserved, but bright enough to light up a cold winter sky.

Two weeks had passed since her encounter with Kaiba. Two weeks had also gone by since the scandal. It was astounding, but the whole thing just blew over, just like that. There was another celebrity who was doing far more scandalous things, some empty-headed duelist who was also a trashy pop star. The tabloids writer had attempted to pump more gas into the flame of the self-proclaimed love triangle, but he could only resort to obviously doctored photos. The public was desperate for entertainment, but they were not stupid. The story was coldly ignored and Mai was as easily forgotten as a sock that's missing in the wash. Mai was extremely glad for that. Now she could have a normal life.

Anzu cocked her head to one side, causing her fringe to gravitate to her ear. "Hey, Mai... You okay?"

Mai looked up, back in the present. "Hm? Oh, sure, Anzu, I'm fine."

"Are you sure? 'Cause if it's about Kaiba..."

Mai had broken her vow of silence and told her friend everything. She'd even told Shizuka, but watered down some of her more harsher words. Despite being a woman, Shizuka still struck Mai as being fragile and child-like. But she knew that the girl had been through a lot, from almost losing her eyesight from watching her brother become a different person under Malik's mind control. Shizuka was strong no matter what her appearance claimed.

Mai closed her eyes, let her head and shoulders fall back and parted her red lips. Through half-lidded eyes she could dimly see the pale yellow ceiling. "I'm moving on, " she responded dreamily. But despite her tone, she was heavily concentrating on her subject. "I mean, I love him and I understand and appreciate all the sacrifices he made for me." Kaiba had told her that night of all the harmful stories about her. It took a lot of punches and coaxing for him to come out with it, but she was glad she'd made him tell. "He's a great guy, y'know? I lashed out at him when he was only trying to protect me, and for that I feel terrible. But things were bad even before he ignored me, really bad. Communication became scarce and it was like... the only way I could be with him was in dreams and thoughts. I'd think about him and hope that he was thinking about me too and that was when things fell apart. You can't just think about things for things to happen... Am I making sense?" Mai laughed, then went on without waiting for a response. "I mean I wasn't truthful to him. I never came out and said things were bad. And Kaiba never did either. Then we just accepted only talking to each other and being with each other as something that happened sometimes. Things got so bad that I could only be with him by thinking of him."

Mai sat up with a sigh. "And that's my tale of woe," she finished.

She had her whole audience captivated. Eyes riveted to her, Anzu and Shizuka wore the same mesmerized look Mai must've worn.

Anzu broke through the continuous silence. "Wow," Anzu breathed. "You've changed."

"Yeah!" Shizuka said sunnily. Mai jumped up, startled by the outburst. With a smile, Shizuka continued, "You've grown a lot, Mai-san! Not just emotionally but physically too! When you walk, you walk with your head held higher and your back a bit straighter. I think that's amazing."

"Ah, what a sweet girl," Mai cooed, reaching over to hug the small woman. "Now why can't Anzu be more like you?"

"I'm not gonna worship you!" Anzu fumed in the background. "I mean, let's face it. You're not the first person who's been dumped and you won't be the last either."

Shizuka broke away from Mai's grip. "Anzu-chan! Isn't that a little harsh?"

But instead of fuming, Mai looked at the ceiling, deep in thought. "That's true," she philosophized. "'Cause life goes on. No matter what happens or what we do, we just gotta keep on walking, keep on surviving. Sometimes it's hard, really hard, but with determination and some tough love, you can get through it. That's life."

"...You've changed. Really changed." Anzu gave a fake shudder. "And I don't mean good changed. Like creepy psycho who-are-you-and-what-have-you-done-with-my-friend changed."

"What can I say? I've grown. And for the record, I didn't get dumped," Mai added as she pinched her friend's shoulder really hard. "Now let's decide what I want to do with the rest of my life!"

"Hey, it's your life. Why don't you decide?"

"Um... I kinda agree with Anzu-chan. You're the only one who knows what you want to do with your life, Mai-san, if you don't mind me saying so."

"I know. It's just that I need to rely on others. I can't do things all by myself. No one can do that. It's too lonely. And besides, my job sucks!"

"I forgot to ask. How's business?"

Mai gave Anzu an ugly glare. "Don't ask. It sucks and that's all you need to know. Now let's get serious and pick out a new job."

"...Waitress."

"Argh!! Anzu, we've already went through this! No!!"

"Well, Mai, might I remind you that we've gone through the whole list already?"

"Why don't you give the waitress job a chance, Mai-san?" With hands clasped and a squeal, Shizuka continued, "I think you'd look cute in a waitressing outfit!"

"This isn't about cuteness, Shizuka-chan," Mai replied kindly. "It's about... being practical. After all, this is the rest of my life here." She used a dramatic pause to let the gravity of this statement sink in. In the process, it sunk in with Mai as well. The rest of her life. She needed a job that would carry her through the remainder of her life. A job that didn't make her want to off herself out of boredom and bitterness. A job she could be proud of. No, not just a job. A career. Something she loved, something she could do until she was ready to retire.

"What do you love to do?" Shizuka asked.

"What do I love to do?" Dueling of course. But Mai had announced her retirement and somehow, she didn't feel right going back. Then she'd be hounded even more than ever, and that speculation could reach back and hurt Kaiba and Mokuba again. She loved them both too much to hurt them like that. And anyway, Mai wasn't eager to go back into the spotlight. If anything, she would rather live an ordinary life, free to embarrass herself without it being splashed on some magazine page for all the world to see.

As for hobbies and talents, Mai wasn't sure she had any she make a good career out of.

"Hey, Mai, aren't you in college?" Anzu prompted when Mai wouldn't respond. "There must be some courses you're interested in."

Mai had decided to go back to college, finishing her education but changing her minor. Cosmetology was nice and all, but Mai was done with being about image. She wanted to show the world a new her, someone who was bold and confident. Sure, she had plenty of boldness and she was strong, but Mai wanted that to reflect mentally as well.

"Mai nodded. "Sure," she answered, taking a sip of the bottle of cranberry juice stashed by her lap. "Doesn't mean I've gotten stuff figured out yet. My major's Business, but I think I should change it."

"Why?" Shizuka wondered. "I bet you'd make a great businesswoman."

"Businesswoman? Perhaps not," Anzu said. "I think.. a model would be a good job for you."

Mai waited for the laugh, the sarcastic add-on to this comment that seemed to be made so earnestly... And indeed, Anzu was leaning forward, no longer wry but honest, with a hint of a smile that was nowhere near mocking.

"You can't be serious!"

Anzu looked offended. "But I am. It took me a long time to think that up, you know."

"Oh, Mai-san, that would be perfect for you," Shizuka added gently. Nothing could disguise the excitement on her face however. "You're tall and pretty, so you'd make a great model! Plus you're so graceful."

Anzu nudged the starry-eyed girl playfully in the ribs. "Got a crush, Shizuka?" she joked.

"C'mon, guys, let's be serious."

The auburn-haired girl raised her hand eagerly as if she were in school. "Ooh, I've got a suggestion!" she cried.

"And what's this one?" As Shizuka opened her mouth, Mai added, "And it can't be a job based on looks or talent in making others look good. Not even a career as a designer works."

"Sailor Moon!"

Anzu and Mai looked at the girl blankly, wondering if she was serious or joking. Like a puppy, she turned her face up to them eagerly, smiling broadly as if waiting for their approval.

All of them burst out laughing.

* * *

Mai leaned against the plush leather interior of her car, sighing as she drummed her fingers on the dashboard. She was stuck in a traffic jam and she didn't want to delay going home for a second longer. Work had been strenuous and trying today and she wanted to take a nice hot bubble bath and relax. 

"Come on," she muttered under her breath. Her eyes caught the fire of the disappearing sun and the embers it left behind. With another sigh, Mai tilted her head towards her shoulder in order to stretch out her neck. Her hand massaged her throat, hoping to get out some of the soreness. Then she sat upright again.

Years had passed since she and Kaiba had broken up, a moment in time that was so dim, Mai could barely see the brightness. She had learned and grown from the experience and still cherished Kaiba dearly, but knew that even if she'd went back to him, things would've been changed and unchanged all at once. They would've still barely seen each other, but even if they did manage to spend time with each other, something about the way they acted, talked to each other would've undoubtedly changed.

Mai had always had a problem with authority, especially as a child. Of course, under the rule of her rich, influential family, Mai could do little to garner respect and freedom to speak her mind, but as she grew up, that rebellion burned so earnestly, it scorched innocent bystanders as a result. Even Jounouchi was on the receiving end of her stinging remarks and fiery backlashes, often for unexplained reasons. Mai felt bad about her hot-headed temper, but that was in the past. But now it turned out that she was taking on the role of the authority in society. Mai hadn't lost her fire, not by a long shot. The anger of her younger years had been converted into passionate debating skills as an attorney. Mai was in Criminal Justice, which meant she had dealings in the imprisonment of wrong-doers. Ironically, the idea Anzu and Mai had laughed at had in a way come true. Like Shizuka had shrilly exclaimed, Mai had become Sailor Moon, except without the super powers. Or the cat. Or the cute miniskirt.

Mai let out a chuckle as a car in front of her lurched forward. Hands back on the steering wheel, Mai drove herself home. With one hand, she unraveled the bun pulling her hair back and tossed the hair tie on the other seat. The wind swerving above her topless car delved its fingers into her hair, sending it behind her.

She pulled up to her modest home, which was like Anzu's but to a lesser degree. As Mai made her way into the driveway, she thought with a smile about her friend. Anzu had went from being a blushing bachelorette to a rosy-cheeked bride with a baby on the way. _Looks like she'll be needing those extra rooms_, she mused with a grin, thinking back on the many rooms the brunette had. Anzu and her husband were planning on having a big family, so Mai wouldn't be surprised if they ended up having five kids.

With a sigh, she stopped the car, took the key out of the ignition and got out. For some reason, Mai was feeling restless and even a bit inferior to the prima ballerina. While the rest of her friends were in relationships, Mai was still single. She almost called herself a spinster but mentally bit her tongue over the insult. Her birthday was coming up, adding yet another year to her on-going resume, but she was not old.

_Maybe I should go for a walk, _Mai mused as she floated out of the garage. She looked up. Charming midnight blue swelled above the green and pale yellow of the sky. Autumn leaves scarcely held on to the scary, gnarled tree limbs, but the colors of the leaves were beautiful: rich reds, vibrant oranges, and browns that were rich and chocolatey instead of dead and crispy. A slight bite was in the air that Mai enjoyed, but it wasn't too cold. She could just walk around in her smart navy blazer, pencil skirt and ruffled blouse if she wanted. Mai wasn't even bothered by her high heels and anyway, she loved taking walks to just reflect and think about things.

Mai lived on a quiet street that was near enough to the city for her not to go crazy. She needed excitement, bright lights and urban living, but all of that activity wasn't so alluring at night, when car alarms would go off and stupid drunk people started hollering in the streets. From her hotel room, Mai had moved to a seedy apartment; it was the only place the wage from her crappy job could afford. Unfortunately, that apartment was in the bad part of town, where strip clubs and rundown bars took residence, carrying along with it the residue of the young gang-bangers high on drugs and their uncaring alcoholic parents. Of course it wasn't all that bad and Mai had made some friends in the area. Miu, a resident on her floor, had been around the same age as Mai and the two had bonded. And there was an older woman on Mai's block that had been very kind to her, welcoming her to the neighborhood, always armed with a smile and a pan of brownies. Plus there was an attractive man who'd helped her move in, but nothing came of their meetings other than a deep friendship. And for Mai, that was enough. Scarred from her relationship and finally seeing reality, Mai couldn't rush into a relationship and make someone a mere rebound boy. That would be just too much.

Mai smiled softly as she strolled along, taking in her surroundings and drinking the features in deeply as if she were savoring the taste of wine. She loved summer, but autumn was wonderful too. Everything looked so beautiful and the air had a certain scent about it, like... autumn. It could only be described as being distinctly autumn.

The blonde attorney crossed the street when the streetlight told her it was safe to do so. Night was falling swiftly and she was getting a little hungry. She'd almost considered going to a restaurant, but she felt a weariness drape over her shoulders like a silk scarf. Mai wanted to go home and make dinner, then doze off.

Mai had grown up knowing every comfort and convenience in her wealthy home, but none of the benefits of love. Love was a luxury was the cold, cruel fact that seemed to be stressed. It had to be earned and nothing Mai could do would grant her a gentle pat on the head or a tender kiss on the cheek. It had taught her to be independent in some ways, like relying on herself for love, and to be dependent in other ways. Even as an adult, Mai carried that contradiction with her.

Mai didn't know much about house-keeping and she could barely cook. She could pay her bills and provide for herself financially but was hopeless at creating a comfortable life for herself. During her hotel stay, she'd spent more time eating take-out than refining her skills as a chef. But being on her own had taught her well. Mai could make even the most talented cook blanch in shock and envy. Of course she couldn't soak up all of the credit. Her friends, her sweet, bothersome friends who wouldn't leave her alone to grieve, all of them, even Jou, who couldn't even open a can to save his life, had rushed to her aid and got her back on her feet. No woman was an island. Mai knew that now and she was grateful for her friends. Being independent didn't mean she had to do everything all alone, isolated and lonely.

Mai never wanted to experience loneliness like she had through her childhood and during the collapse of her relationship with Kaiba ever again.

Her eye caught a particularly bright star just resting in the heavens, waiting to be admired. It gave off a dazzling flash as if aware of its captive audience. Mai smiled. Could she wish on a star without feeling absolutely foolish? Wishing was for little kids, not for strong women who held down jobs. But even when she was a kid, Mai had never wished on a star, although she'd heard about the practice. Without warning her eyelids fell over her eyes. She clasped her hands and locked the fingers as if in earnest prayer, concentrating on that point in space, a ball of gases that even in death shone with intense brilliance.

Mai wished for Seto's happiness even though it wasn't necessary. She had looked through a newspaper that morning to find that another one of Kaiba's brilliant inventions was on the market and soaking up profits. A black and white photo of the CEO and his brother stood tall next to the long article. The identical smiles on their faces was enough to bring a smile to her own. They had had a bad childhood as well and they'd turned out just fine.

And Mai had turned out just fine, not only because of the tribulations she'd faced but the people who stood beside her, holding her hands, telling her it was okay to lean on them.

Mai had love.

Seto had love.

And even though they didn't have each other, they were doing just fine.


End file.
